A Lot About Us

A Lot About Us

About Me

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We are the Caldwells. Justin, Nicole, our little guys, Grayson, Baylor, and Rowan, and our angel daughters, Faith and Avery.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

BAYLOR AT 6 MONTHS

Our little Baylor Boo is six months old! Where is the time going? No, seriously stop time right now. He is on warp speed traveling too fast from newborn to toddler before my eyes. I know I have plenty of baby time left before he is really a toddler but if the next year goes by as quickly as the last 6 months, then it will be too fast for me.

From month five to six Baylor did a lot of changing and developing. He is now sitting up really well. He starting sitting assisted shortly after he hit 5 months and at this point he is sitting really well. During tummy time he is starting to try to push up to his knees. We will see where that goes. He loves to chew on books and teething rings and still loves it most when his big brother pays attention to him. He looks for Grayson as soon as he wakes and give Grayson bigger grins and deeper giggles that anyone else gets. Baylor loves his bath and likes to splash around and sink down in the water like Grayson did when he was little. He is getting a little big for his baby tub, but we will wait to move him to the big tub until he is sitting a little better. Around 5 months Baylor moved from his infant carrier to a regular rear facing car seat. I forgot to post it at his 5-month update so I will include it here. We basically did that because we had to get a new car seat after our fender-bender and the rear facing made better financial sense than the carrier.

At Baylor's 6-month appointment he was 16 pounds, 6.1 ounces which puts him in the 30th percentile for weight. The doctor voiced a bit of concern about the lack of substantial weight gain since he was last weighed in her office. We will go back in 4 weeks for a weight check. She is the same pediatrician that followed Grayson's minimal weight gain during the first 18 months so I think she half-expected Baylor to begin trimming down at some point. He measured 27 inches in length which puts him in the 75th percentile for length. He is tall and skinny. Although I don't really think he looks skinny. He has some cutie patootie rolls on this thighs that are ADORABLE!

His gums were swollen at the appointment and she confirmed that he is teething although it seems like he has been teething for well over a month and we haven't seen a tooth yet. He hates orajel so we have been doing Tylenol when he gets particularly drooly, fussy, and begins tugging at his ear. We have had a few nights where he wakes up screaming and can't fall back asleep. It is a different cry than when he wakes and just needs to self soothe. He screams. We will try to 30 minutes or so to hold and soothe him, but if we are unable to calm him down it becomes pretty clear that he is hurting so we give Tylenol. Typically about 30 minutes after the dose he calms and falls asleep. Not the case on Christmas Eve. Baylor work shortly after Santa visited and stayed awake the rest of the night in what appeared to be teething pain. Well, I guess he did sleep in my arms for about an hour, but that meant I was sitting up and not sleeping. That made for a very foggy Christmas day.

Baylor received 5 vaccines at his appointment. Four shots and an oral vaccine. He wasn't too bothered by the pain, but did have a pretty rough reaction in the days following. He was generally fussy and ran a fever for about 36 hours. Good times!

When not hurting, he is sleeping well and is generally a very happy guy. We have started to see a little more development of his personality and I believe he may be a little more strong-willed than his brother. He loves to chew on any and everything and occasionally gets his hands on something that isn't made for his baby mouth (paper, the remote, Grayson's cars) and it has to be taken from him. He gets very upset. The bottom lip sticks out and he just cries and cries. It is almost funny to see that he already responds when he doesn't get his way. He has to learn that he can't have everything that he thinks his heart desires. Bless that sweet little heart!

Friday, December 24, 2010

MOTHER'S PERSPECTIVE

Justin and I recently volunteered for Christmas Unwrapped at our church. They call it an interactive Christmas experience. The best way I can describe it is to say it is like a Christmas carnival. We volunteered specifically for the Live Nativity. I felt like Baylor, although certainly much bigger than a new born, would make a good baby Jesus. I never imagined the opportunity to serve would be such a touching and spiritually moving experience.

The setting was just as you would picture the nativity complete with animals,sheperds, and wise men. Justin and I portrayed Mary and Joseph. At first it was interesting to take it all in and look around at the animals and all the people. Everyone, obviously, was excited and interested in the "real baby Jesus". After a while it got dark, colder, and it was harder to see all the people because we had bright lights shining on us.

I began to think about the scene and the very real people we were portraying. I couldn't help but look at my sweet boy while we sat in that stable and imagine how Mary must have felt every time she looked at her son, Jesus. Mary knew God's plan for her son. It began to weigh heavy on my heart what that job must have been like for her. She was unmarried when she learned she would give birth to the savior of man. She carried him, raised him, and loved him as only a mother can knowing that it would be her son, the son of God, that would be sacrificed for our sin. It was a humbling experience, to say the very least, to sit in a stable and imagine myself as Mary. I know if asked to do what she did today I would really struggle with the call. Yes, I would respond in obedience, but the challenge would be difficult for certain. Mary sets a great example for women of what it means to follow the call of our Father.

God, through Mary, sent his son into the world. That son was sacrificed on a cross to pay the debt for the sins of mankind for all eternity. He was born and died so that we can eternal life in Heaven.

What an amazing woman! What an amazing baby! What an amazing Savior?! What an amazing God! Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

CHRISTMAS CARD FAIL

I was super excited about our Christmas card this year. So excited that I totally messed up when ordering and only ordered about half of what I needed. Not only that, but I didn't realize I was short until late Sunday evening when I went to finish addressing them. Yep, finish them. I didn't realize that I only had half until I had used almost all of them.

The point of this post is that I don't want any of our friends and family who tyipcally get a card from us to be offended when one doesn't come this year. I didn't take you off my list, it is just too late to order more and get them out in time.

Actually, if you would be offended by not getting a card then I am surprised we are still even friends at this point because surely I have subjected you to a greater offense than not getting a Christmas card before now.

So, if you got one, Merry Christmas. If you didn't Merry Christmas just the same. If you got one and someone else we know sees it and says something like, well I didn't get one, refer them to this post and make a photocopy for them if you are feeling especially festive.

Friday, December 10, 2010

5 YEARS

Today I have been married to my wonderful husband for five years. It certainly doesn't seem like it has been that long. Actually Justin has been in my life for 1/3 of it. We met in 2000 and were married in 2005.

It doesn't really make sense to say that we grew up together because we have not known one another since childhood, but that is exactly the case. Justin and I have done a whole lot of growing up together since we met in college.

It has been a journey and I wouldn't trade a single minute of it. Justin is an amamzing husband, inspiring spiritual leader, the very best friend, and an amazing father. Although he almost never reads the blog. . .I love you always!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR

Yes, the Christmas season is in full swing. Our calendar is jam packed from now until after the New Year. I wouldn't have it any other way. Every event, evey occasion is an opportunity to gather with family and friends and celebrate.

This is my favorite time of year. That shouldn't be a surprise. I love birthdays and this is the most important birthday of all to celebrate. I love the buzz and the insanity that exits between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love shopping, I love baking, I love Christmas music, I love Christmas parties, I love Christmas plays, I love Christmas movies, I love live nativities, I love going to see decorations, I love the buzz at the mall, I love looking for the perfect gifts, I love reminding those around of the real reason for this season, and I love spending time with the people I love. I guess you get that I love everything that comes with this most magnificant holiday. I also love that we get to do all of these things to acknowledge and celebrate the birth of our savior. The shopping, baking, gathering, and celebrating is all about the love for those in our lives and for our Savior. We do all of this fun Christmas stuff to show love to others the way God showed He loved us by sending His son. Who couldn't love this time of year?

Does it get crazy? Sure it does! Already this year we have been sick, I have several returtns to make from buying the wrong thing, and our tree has fallen over. Yes, fully decorated and all it came crashing down. None of that has taken away a bit of my cheer. This year especially I am loving that Grayson is really starting to grasp the story of Jesus and what Christmas is all about. Isn't that amazing!!! I can't wait to see his little program at preschool. It is going to be amazing. Also, little Baylor may be baby Jesus for live nativity at our church celebration. If it is too cold they will use a doll, if not Baylor will be sitting in as Jesus for an hour. Awesomeness!!!

As part of our holiday ritual we had our friend Kelly come by to take our family Christmas picture. Yes, I will send out a card to those of you I have addresses for. However, there are many of you sneaky readers that I don't know in real life and I don't have an address for. So for all of you. . .



MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE CALDWELLS!

This is not the pic we used for the Christmas cards so for those of you with one on the way, you will still have something to look forward to. If any of you local folks are looking for someone to take some family pics. Let me recommend Kelly. I think she did a fantastic job.

Monday, November 29, 2010

BAYLOR AT 5 MONTHS AND THANKSGIVING

Baylor Boo is 5 months old today! Can you believe it? I can't! Don't you like the new nickname? That has been lovingly given by his big brother recently. Out of no where Grayson started calling him Baylor Boo and I think it is just about the cutest thing ever.

Baylor continues to meet milestones, growing and changing every day. On November 16th he rolled from his tummy to his back. I was so happy to be there and see the first time he rolled over. He was so excited with himself.

For about 2 months now Baylor has had trouble napping and was waking often during the night. He just seemed to wake often wanting his pacifier. We tried letting him cry it out and although that worked he was still waking up often and having to soothe himself back to sleep. A couple of weeks ago our babysitter, Cassalyn, asked if she could try putting him down on his tummy. Grayson always slept on his tummy. He would startle himself awake constantly on his back so very early on we purchased a SIDS monitor and put him on his tummy to sleep. We tried Baylor on his tummy once he was old enough to move his head around and he didn't seem to like it. I don't know why I hadn't thought of tummy sleeping more recently since Baylor had started waking himself up so often. Ever since moving to his tummy he is sleeping like a champ. Thanks Cassalyn!!!

Baylor is really starting to play more, which Grayson loves. He like to be in his exersaucer and on his play mat. He loves it when Grayson comes over to play with him. He likes holding and chewing on just about anything, but right now soft books, linking rings, and his bear seem to be his favorite.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Baylor enjoyed his first Thanksgiving holiday. We traveled a little and spend the holiday with Justin's family. They live about an hour and a half from us. It was a wonderful time with family however we were all sick. Yep, all four of us. It is never good when the Mommy is sick, but it is even worse when Mommy and everyone else is sick.

Despite the illness we were able to get our tree and get our house decorated for the most part. I still have a few things to do around the house. Today we are still sick. Justin is at work and Grayson is well enough to go to school, but poor Baylor is home today. He is really congested and just feels generally poopy. Poor baby. He is sick on his 5-month Birthday.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

GENEROSITY

According to Wikipedia the definition of generosity is the habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return. I think most would agree that generosity is a desirable trait. As parents we desire to instill lots of desirable traits in our children. Generosity is one of those.

It has been a long time since I blogged specifically about my sweet oldest son, Grayson. There are so many wonderful things I can say about my wonderful 2 1/2 year old. One specific incident this week is what prompted me to share a little about the child our boy is growing in to.

On Saturday we were cleaning up around the house. I was up in the boys' rooms organizing clothes and toys. Baylor's room isn't finished yet. We waited pretty late in my pregnancy to even start on it and well life has just been really busy and it isn't quite where we want it to be. It annoys me that he room doesn't look complete. While I was organizing and trying to figure out where to put all of Grayson's one million stuffed animals, I noticed that Baylor only has two or three "friends" in his room.

Grayson was upstairs with us and Justin mentioned to him that he has lots of animals and Baylor doesn't have any. Grayson replied with, "I give him some". He proceeded to go around his room very carefully selecting stuffed animals to give to his brother. He was sure to give him some of every size, some for his bed, some for the rocking chair, some for the dresser, and even gave some that I know he is very fond of. I wanted to make sure that Grayson understood what it meant to give something to his brother instead of just sharing it. I explained that when we give something to someone for keeps that means they don't give it back. I explained that it is very generous and kind to give to others especially when they don't have all of the nice things that we have been blessed with. Grayson just looked at me and said, "Brother need some animals for he room. He not have any." He gave me a look that said, "Well of course they are for him to keep. Why wouldn't they be?" I couldn't be more proud of my little guy. Baylor's room is full of "friends" because his brother was generous enough to give.

Grayson is beyond a wonderful son and brother. He has grown into such an amazing little guy. He is developing a love of NC State sports like his mommy and daddy. He is counting to 10, sort of saying his A,B,C's, loves to color and draw, loves to sing and dance, and has lots of friends at school. Right now the friends he most often talks about are Rin, Peyt, Katherine, and Cassalyn. It is sweet that Cassalyn is one of his "friends" because she is his sitter during the week. I consider it an amazing blessing that he calls her his friend. He is really enjoying going to school and especially the time they spend in Chapel. He has told me all about Moses, Noah, and Jonah. He has also mastered the most amazing rendition of "Jesus Loves Me".

Grayson keeps us laughing these days. In fact, I am considering starting a regular "Das Not Funny! Friday" post like my bloggy friend Jessica just to keep a record of his hilarious quotes. Just the other night I had to pull out of a side street and I couldn't see well to my left. It was one of those places where you just have to use your best judgment and go. As I am pulling out I say, "Okay boys, hold on to what ya got!" Grayson replies, "Mommy! I got nothing in my hands right now!" He loves to listen to "his songs" in the car and most often requests "Round and round" (The Wheels on the Bus), "Bible Book" (God Made Me), and "Pooted" (Who Did).

He loves to hug and kiss on his brother, play ball with is brother, tickle his brother, and pretty much do anything that makes Baylor laugh. It doesn't take much. Baylor pretty much laughs at anything Grayson does. It warms my heart to see how Baylor already looks up to Grayson and how well Grayson is responding to that so far.

I could go on an on for days about how great my little guy is and I am not biased at all. He really is amazing! He brings so much joy and happiness to our lives every day. Oh, and of course here is a picture of our little guy and friend Matt tailgating for Wolfpack football.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

UPDATE

If you have not read my post from 11/9, please do so. Without reading that first you will not understand this update.

"S" posted today that her husband passed away this morning. Although he has moved on to a more beautiful, pain-free eternity he leaves behind a family that is going to miss him so very much.

Please remember them in your prayers today.

Monday, November 8, 2010

HELD

I have started this post a million times. A million times I have sent it back to the saved area because I just wasn't sure where God was prompting me to go with it. It started with a song and I am still not certain if I have it right, but here goes nothing.

Along the right side of my blog there are links to the blogs that I read. I actually read many other blogs, but the ones on the side are the ones I read most often. It isn't an accident or just for fun that I have them listed there. It is because those blogs encourage me or inspire me in some way and I list them in hopes that someone who may stumble upon my blog may end up heading over to one of those and be inspired or spoken to in the same way that I have been.

Some of the blogs are the blogs of friends who are at the same or a similar place in life as I am. No secret that those interest me because I can relate and often times we (me and those bloggy friends) are dealing with the same life challenges. Well, that and I like to keep up with what is going on with my friends.

There are other blogs that I read because I find the subject matter inspirational in one way or another. I read blogs by friends who are fostering and adopting. I read blogs written by friends who are missionaries. I also read some blogs that are sort of devotional in nature. Then there are two friends whose blogs stand out from the others and those blogs are what prompted me to write this post.

I have two friends who blog and right now they are in the midst of life storms that I can barely relate to. I have spent countless hours praying for these friends. Before I share the song God has laid on my heart to share with you all, I want to tell you about these women.

First there is my awesome friend "M". "M" is the kind of friend anyone would consider themselves lucky to have. "M" is funny, interesting, smart, kind, and devoted. Yeah, she is pretty much awesome. "M" and her equally awesome husband have wanted a baby for a long time now. Things weren't happening quickly for them and so they started seeing doctors. Many months later "M" has dealt with a diagnosis of endometriosis, surgery, and the determination that IVF may be the only way for she and hubby to have a little darling of their own. "M" recently found out that their first attempt at IVF failed. Here is this woman who I know will make an awesome mother. Here is a woman who has watched most of her closest friends have babies in the last few years and who even helped us get little Baylor here by helping out when I was on bed rest. I know that the realization that the IVF didn't work must have been devastating news for her. It is hard to understand why someone who would make such an awesome mother and who has the desire in her heart to have babies has yet to be blessed with one. On top of that, she is now dealing with a failed IVF.

I also follow the blog of "S". "S" is married with two beautiful daughters. "S" and her husband were high school sweethearts. "S" is my age and her husband has terminal brain cancer. He is currently living at our local Hospice House. "S" is facing a very uncertain future and on a daily basis gracefully deals with the reality that this cancer has brought to her family.

My two friends are in the midst of storms that bring heartache, pain, loss, frustration, tears, and emptiness. Although their particular situations may not be something we have endured, we all deal with trials that bring seemingly unbearable challenges. I know. I have been there and the only thing that pulled me through was the knowledge that God was with me every step of the way. He always carries us. "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

The song I have included with this post spoke to me about God's love for me and how he carries us through trials when I was in the middle of my own storm. Please pray for my dear friends, "M" and "S". Pray that God will guide them through their storm and that they will feel His love and encouragement every step of the way. I pray every day that "M" and "S" will feel "held" by the God that loves them so very much. He doesn't promise this journey will be easy and without trials, but he does promise that we will not endure it alone.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

A NEW LOOK!

I have neglected my blog so much lately. Not posting like I should and letting the entire page just get so outdated. Things are beginning to settle down as much as I think they ever will with my life consisting of a business to manage, a household to manage, and two little ones to raise and I am working on making time for the things I love. Blogging is obviously one of those things I love.

I have a few posts in the works that I keep editing and working on. Some will update and some are just things that have been on my mind lately. I also took a moment to update the page.

Now you can see what our boys are looking like these days. The picture in the middle and the one of the left corner were both taken by one of our favorite photographers, Christa Hook. She owns Creative Clicks Photography and is just a wonderful person in general. You can check out her work at www.mycreativeclicks.com. Those were both taken when Baylor was one week and Grayson was about 26 months. The other photos were taken about a month ago at Portrait Innovations, which is where we go when we need inexpensive update photos of the boys.

So, enjoy the new layout and updated photos. I hope to get these other posts finished and published soon. Thanks for hanging in there with me during the posting drought.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

BAYLOR AT 4 MONTHS

Baylor was 4 months old on the 29th of October. I waited to write this post until after we had his check-up. That was today. Our big guy is 15 pounds, 6 ounces. Baylor is at the 60th percentile for weight, 50th for head circumference, and 90th for length. Can we say "TALL". When we stand him up he comes right to Grayson's shoulders. Baylor is wearing 6-9 month clothing and continues to amaze me by how quickly he is growing.

Baylor continues to be such an awesome addition to our family. We are definately into a groove now having two kiddos, but I still stand in awe of those with 3 or more. Baylor is a real joy to have around. He has to be the most laid back baby ever. Grayson was laid back as well, but Baylor is just so very happy-go-lucky. We have done a lot of traveling since his birth, in fact we have been out of town every weekend since sometime in August, and Baylor has just been the best little traveler. He seems to enjoy every minute of the day as long as he is where the action is. The only time he wants to be away from the action is when he is ready to sleep. When he gets sleepy he prefers to be in his crib in a quiet room all by himself. He is already become attached to his little bear blankie and likes to sleep with it covering some part of his head and face. If he wakes without his bear he will cry until he finds him. He also likes to have his pacifier while he sleeps.

Baylor is sleeping well. Around 3 months he started waking up again during the night to eat after several weeks of sleeping through. We made a decision after about 2 1/2 weeks of waiting it out to see if it was a growth spurt, to give Baylor oatmeal at dinner. After waiting it out Baylor had gone from waking up once to eat, to waking two or three times during the night. The addition of oatmeal has given him the extra nourishment he was needing, but not in time for him not to get used to and spoiled by waking up and being nursed during the night. Baylor is not as happy and content during the day when he spends his nights waking up and I am not a happy mom when I don't get sleep. I discussed this with his doctor yesterday and I was happy that she supported me in the notion that we are doing the right thing by keeping him on a schedule and that at 4 months and 15 pounds, it is reasonable to expect him to sleep 8-12 hours without eating. I knew all of that, but it is nice when the doc backs you up. I have no issue with mom's who are happy to wake up all night to nurse for the comfort of their child, it just doesn't work for our family. I choose to provide comfort in other ways and encourage my children to sleep when it is time to sleep. We have been given the go ahead to let him cry it out (if necessary) and will move forward with that plan. Last night Baylor woke up twice. Once after crying for 5 minutes (we always check to at least make sure he is okay)I had to pick him up to calm him down and then we went right back to sleep. The second time he only cried for about two minutes and then went back to sleep on his own. What a big boy! Again, I have no issue with moms who nurse for comfort. I think it is great if that works for your family and if you feel that is what your children need. Every mom is entitled to decide what is right for her babies, so don't leave me any nasty comments about my parenting.

At 3 months Baylor was old enough to join Grayson at Hudson Memorial Preschool. No, Baylor is not in preschool. He is a member of the sibling crib room. He goes on the same days as Grayson. He seems to enjoy it and for obvious reasons the teachers just love him.

Baylor enjoys playing with toys and it thrills him when he realizes he has picked something up on his own. He has not rolled over yet, but rolls all the way to his side during tummy time or time on his back. The doc says he definitely could roll over if he wanted to. He loves to play in his new exersaucer and although he isn't always able to turn the seat when he wants, he has an older brother who is happy to turn him to a new toy anytime he voices unhappiness about his current location.

Baylor just loves his big brother and I am pretty sure the feeling is mutual. No one can make Baylor smile like Grayson. He looks for Grayson we he isn't in the room and his eyes light up every time Grayson approaches him to play. It is the sweetest thing to watch the relationship between the two of them grow. I know, because of my own relationship with my sister, that no one will ever be as good of a friend as your siblings and no one understands you the way they do. It is a joy to watch them together knowing that one day they will both be the best friend that the other has ever had.

Life continues to be amazing with this little guy around. He has started producing those deep belly laughs throughout the day. There is just nothing sweeter than the sound of a baby laughing hysterically. I have added some more recent pics to the blog header so you can see what the boys are looking like these days. One day I will get around to adding pics to my posts. Right now I am too impatient for the uploading.

Friday, October 15, 2010

OCTOBER 15th

When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose a child there isn't a word to describe them.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, as proclaimed by Former President Ronald Reagan in 1988. Today, October 15th is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss and Remembrance Day, a special day to honor and acknowledge babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, prematurity complications, neonatal death, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome-SIDS, illness, accidents, and other tragic causes. Pink and Light Blue are the awareness colors.

It has been 1 year, 5 months, and six days since we said good-bye to Faith and Avery. I don't need a special day to remember them. I think of them every day and on most days I think of them often throughout the day. It is nice to have a day set aside to know we are not alone and to know that there are other parents out there who can relate to how we feel every day. My stomach still sinks everytime I see twins and tears sting my eyes when they are girls around age one. My heart still aches when I walk through the little girl's clothing in a department store. My chest gets tight when I see a double stroller loaded with matching carriers. I still wake up feeling sick on the 9th day of every month that is why on most months I try not to pay attention to the dates. There are still Saturdays that I wake up around 5 and 7 am feeling heartbroken. I feel angry when individuals who know us fail to remember them. It was devastating when some family members didn't even acknowledge their birthday (yes, that happened). It is possible they remembered but they certainly didn't let us know they rememberd or cared.

Losing a child whether it be due to premature birth, miscarriage, infant death, or any other way is not pleasant to think about, not easy to talk about, but is very real. It happens to so many families every year. It is a sad, tragic reality.

So today is a day dedicated to this. We are not alone and today I will not only be remembering my sweet girls but I will also be praying for all of my friends who are the mothers of angels. We all miss our "what might have been babies". Tonight Justin and I will attend a ceremony in Raleigh for this occasion and to remember the babies lost in our area. Faith and Avery's names will be read aloud during the ceremony. We didn't participate last year. We weren't ready. I am looking forward to tonight.




Thursday, October 14, 2010

STILL HERE, STILL ALIVE

Yes, we have been MIA for a while now. Just prior to our vacation in September things in our life took off in a crazy direction. It required some reorganizing for a while and the blog had to take a back seat. Things are beginning to settle down and I am feeling like I need to get back to the blog world. I have been following along with all of my bloggy friends and keeping up with them, but have not been able to take the time to post myself. I have really missed it. Blogging is a way for me to document, vent, feel supported, and share. I have missed that.

Our big life change was in the works for a while, but finally came to be on September 1st. I officially own my own business and have taken over the work of the company I have been a part of for the last three years. For those of you who don't know me THAT well, I am a Speech Language Pathologist. For the last three years I have been with a company serving as manager and clinical director. I am now running my own company and it is great! Insanely busy, but great. All of this came to be rather quickly and in a really complicated way, but as always God's plan is playing out and we are holding on as tight as we can for the ride praying every day that even in the work place I am serving Him and bringing glory to His name.

I will be posting again and catching you all up on what has been happening around here. It will take lots of posts to really catch-up. I know I don't have a whole ton of readers, but I have missed you all and can't wait to catch you up on all that has been on my mind for the last month and a half.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

BAY BEAR AT 2 MONTHS

Baylor is two months old today! Wow! The time is just going by too fast. These two months have flown by but at the same time I feel like he has always been part of our family.

Baylor's two month check-up was on Friday. He did great. The weigh in and measurments were a new type of experience for me. Unlike his older brother who was always in the less than 3rd percentile for weight and around 10th-25th for length, Baylor is in the 50th for weight at 11 lbs, 13 ounces and 80th for length at 24 inches. Yep, 80th!!! I don't even understand what it is like to be on this side of the curve.

He is a little on the lazy side when it comes to holding his head up high during tummy time, but he is strong enough and can do it. He is very close to rolling over and is meeting all of his milestones just perfectly. He has an amazing smile that reveals the sweetest dimples. Some people say that dimples are from angel kisses. Baylor has one on each side. If they are really angel kisses then I like to say they came from his big sisters. He is not giggling on purpose yet, but will laugh out loud in his sleep which is too cute.

Baylor is definitely Mr. Social. If there is something going on, he wants to be a part. If he can hear the action, but can't see anyone, then he gets mad. He doesn't even like to take naps on the days that we go into my office. He is so afraid he is going to miss out on something. Baylor loves to be talked to and the instant you start chatting him up you will get a giant grin. I think he is going to be a charmer, just like his big brother. Speaking of brothers, Grayson is Baylor's favorite person. There are times when Grayson's voice is the only thing that makes Baylor happy. That melts my heart.

Happy two month birthday Bay Bear. We love you very much, but please stop growing up so fast.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

YOU NEED A JOB!

Some people find the way we are raising our children different or interesting. I feel like we are raising our children the way God has called us to. A lot of what I am referring to comes from the book "Sheperding a Child's Heart". It is a great book on parenting God's way and I recommend it to all parents. I have read it twice and will probably read it again in another 6 months or so. It motivates me to be a better parent.

As parents we are working to bring up children who seek God's heart and will for their lives. Part of living in God's will is following His commandments and striving to live in a way that is pleasing to Him. When Grayson requires discipline we explain why what he has done is wrong and we always try to base our expectations on biblical principles.

Grayson has also started to ask "why?" after EVERY statement I make. Our parenting goals and all of the why questions have led us into a lot of teaching moments lately. Even though I know that he doesn't have a firm unerstanding of all the words, we use terms like obedient, kindness, generousity, truth, etc. with Grayson. I want him to have heard these terms all along so that he understands them as soon as his sweet mind can wrap around those big concepts. So yes, we say things like "God expects children to obey their parents" when we discipline Grayson for not listening (that is the part that some people find different or interesting).

Today Grayson was eating his lunch. Today I worked from home. While Grayson was eating he announces, "Mommy, you need a job!" What?!?!? I look over and see that he is very serious. I respond with, "Mommy has a job" to which he replies, "My job pick up my toys. What you job?" Ah ha!!! It is sticking. He IS understanding. I can't tell you how many times I have said to Grayson that it is his job to pick up his toys. That conversation goes something like this,
Me: Grayson, pick up your toys.
Grayson: Mommy why?
Me: Because it is your job?
Grayson: Why me job mommy?
Me: Because we all have jobs and responsibilities and God expects for us to do those jobs with a glad heart. You should be thankful that God has blessed you with these toys and you need to take good care of them. It is your job to take care of your toys and clean them us when Mommy asks.

I have always assumed that the concept of a job might be over his head. Not at all! I responded today by saying, "Some of Mommy's jobs are here at home like making your lunch and washing your clothes. Mommy also works a job at her office and sometimes on the computer here at home." After I explained that I did indeed have a job Grayson looked over into the kitchen that had yet to be cleaned up from making lunch, pointed to the mess, and said, "Mommy, you need to clean you job". Oh boy, what are we getting into?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

BAD BLOGGER AWARD

If there is such a thing, then I should get it. I have not blogged in ages. How funny that my last post was about keeping the interest of my readers and then I just took a hiatus. Well, I am back for those of you who have decided to stick around.

Things are going well here. My lack of blogging has been due to our continued struggle with a routine. We have one. It just changes pretty regularly. In the beginning I just couldn't get everything in and I was frustrated. That is not the case these days. I still struggle to get EVERYTHING in, but the ever-changing schedule we have now is because each day is just a little different. We are getting most everything done these days. Grayson is on summer break from preschool, our nanny hasn't started yet, work is insanely busy for both me and Justin, and we are just kind of making it work as we go. This is only until the beginning of September so I am okay with a couple more weeks of things being a little less routine each day than I would prefer.

Yes, we finally found a nanny and we are really excited about brining her into our family. As it turns out, some very good friends of ours had a family member that was looking for a new family to nanny for part-time. Her schedule worked with ours and the rest is just the perfect plan of God working out in front of us once again. I was so stressed about a stranger coming into our home. This woman feels like a friend since I know her sister so well. God is so good! She starts when we return from our beach vacation in September.

In the mean time we have been piecing together childcare as we go. Some days I can take them both with me to work, but this past week I had WAY too much going on in the office to make that work. It has been wonderful for the boys because for the last week they got to spend some time with people who don't typically get to see them on week days. On Monday Justin stayed home with the boys. They had a boys day and I am certain Grayson enjoyed his day with daddy. Although, when I left for work and Justin explained that he would be staying home while I worked Grayson said, "Uh-oh Daddy". On Wednesday my dad came up and spent a Grandpa's Day with the boys. Yes, he had both all on his own. They had a great day and even made it out to play at the mall playground. On Thursday evening Grammie and Aunt Ret arrived to spend all day Friday and Friday evening with the boys so that we could work during the day and have a date night Friday night. I am certain Grayson kept his Aunt Ret on her toes between the train and puzzles and my amazing mom (with the help of Grayson and Ret) did all of our laundry. That was a HUGE blessing. We are so fortunate to have grandparents and other family close enough to help us when we need them. Grayson always has the best time when his grandparents come to visit.

Baylor is doing well. He is still getting up once during the night, but that isn't bad for a 7-weeker. He will be two months old this coming week and has his check-up Friday. That is the first shot appointment. I am dreading it.

Well, I have about 20 minutes before it is time for Baylor to eat again and Grayson is down for a nap. Time for my power nap before we get into our busy afternoon routine.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

READER INTEREST

I found it very interesting after posting my mommy question about shcedules that many people read my blog that I was unaware of. I know that our family checks in often to see what is going on. After all, I started blogging to keep family updated. I also know that my Aunt Ret is my most committed reader. She checks our blog daily for updates. I guess lately she has been greatly disappointed by my lack of blogging. Anyway, I have some friends following and then the followers that are listed on my page. I was pleasantly surprised to receive emails, FB messages, and comments about scheduling from lots of moms and even one friend who isn't a mom yet but sent a message just to offer help when I need it. The icing on the cake was that I didn't know most of those people followed. It was so awesome to see that something I wrote at some point sparked the interest of someone else enough for them to continue reading along. That same fact initially prompted a little extra pressure about what I write. For a couple of days I was a little stressed about keeping things interesting, but I have since decided that I will just keep chugging along as I have been. After all, you all have been somewhat interested so far, I didn't really know you were there reading along, and if you stop I probably won't know either. I am excited to know that there are more people I thought that I can go to for advice and more people than I realized praying with us when we ask.

So there, that is what has been on my mind. We haven't plugged in our new schedule yet. This week has been a little chaotic and the new routine fell apart before I even got started. No biggie! I have made some adjustments and we will go at it again next week with a trial run scheduled for tomorrow. It also made less sense to start this week because this is Grayson's last week of preschool. He will be out until the second week in September. A schedule this week would have just needed to be adjusted for the next several weeks.

This week I have been interviewing potential candidates for a part-time nanny position. Grayson and Baylor will both be attending the Mom's Morning Out Program in the Fall. Grayson begins at the beginning of September and Baylor will start at the beginning of October. They will will go there Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for a half-day. So, we are looking for someone to keep them from 12:30 when they get out until 4:30 or 5 when I can get home. That will give me 3 full days in the office and 2 days working from home/spending time with the boys. I have interviewed a few people so far and have one really good looking candidate left to interview. I praying God will send the right person who will love our children and care for them the way I would if I could be home with them those afternoons.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

BAYLOR-1 MONTH

I can't even believe it is already time to write this post. The last month has been a blur. It seems like Baylor should still be days old, not a whole month. We are gradually adjusting to life with the newest member of our family. Thanks to all the wonderful ladies who sent me schedule recommendations and offers of advice. It was really interesting to see how different all the schedules and routines are. I have been able to take bits and pieces from all of them and I am hoping to get into a good new routine by next Monday. That is my goal. Additionally, I have been taking iron supplements for the last couple of days (I have a history of Anemia) and that seems to be helping with the exhaustion and headaches.

Back to Baylor. . .(I promise to go in and add pics to this post tomorrow, it is late and I am too tired to download them). This little darling continues to be a real treat. He is starting to settle into an eating and sleeping routine. Baylor sleeps a lot more during the day than I remember Grayson sleeping at 1 month, but as long as he is sleeping at night I am fine with his daytime sleeping habits. Baylor has dropped his 1 am feeding two out of the last 3 nights so I know he is on the verge of dropping that feeding permanently, which makes me very happy.

During the day, when he isn't snoozing, Baylor likes to watch everyone else in the family and likes to be part of the action. I have started carrying him around in my Chicco carrier in the afternoons because he likes to be able to look around at all the busy goings on of the afternoons in our house. He does not like to be left alone during his awake time. If it gets too quite while he is on his play mat or on his tummy he becomes very unhappy. He likes action and he loves to be entertained by his big brother.

Baylor has given some accidental grins, but isn't smiling consistently yet. When he grins he seems to have dimples. We will see if those dimples stick around when the real smiles come.

Baylor is still having a little trouble while eating and his pediatrician has recommended we see a feeding therapist (funny to me because that is what I do) and have a swallow study. Initially Baylor had lots of milk coming out of his nose while nursing and seemed to be having a hard time coordinating his suck, swallow, breathe pattern. The pediatrician made her recommendation and I decided to give it a couple of weeks to see what I could try using my own expertise. I was able to remedy most of his issues, but I will still make the appointments to be certain he is doing okay and there aren't any other issues going on that aren't as glaring.

We also had Baylor's newborn pictures done. You can view them at www.mycreativeclicks.com. Once you get to the gallery you will see Baylor's folder. The password is Caldwell.

Happy One-Month Birthday little Bay Bear. You have been an amazing addition to our family and we all love you so very much. We really look forward to all the joy you will bring as you continue to grow over the coming months.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

FAMILY FUN & SOME MOM QUESTIONS

As we wind down from our weekend and try to gear up for next week I finally have a minute to get some blogging in. The weekend just flies by and I spend most of it trying to catch up on the rest I don't get during the week. More on that later in this post.

I don't have to tell most of you that it has been BLAZING around here lately. If you are a reader and don't know us IRL, just know that we live in the Southeast and the heat index today is 112. It has been about 100 every day for a full week and the humidity is unbearable. Any usual outdoor summer activities (parks, pools, spray grounds, etc.)are out of the question in this heat.

During the week we stay super busy and Justin doesn't get to spend a lot of time with the boys. On Saturdays (even with tons of laundry, yard work, house cleaning, etc.)to do, I feel like we should do at least one fun family activity. This Saturday we decided to try a movie. Grayson had never been to the movies, but has been enjoying an occasional movie at home lately. He doesn't make it all the way through the movies we watch at home, but we thought the novelty of the theatre might keep his interest longer. Baylor is still pretty much eating and sleeping so we figured he would probably being doing one of the two during the movie.

It was a blast. We went to Toy Story 3 and Grayson was in awe. He loved the giant screen and loudness of it all. We sat him in his own seat between us and let him hold the popcorn. Well, we sat the giant tub between his legs. He just sat there happy as a little clam munching away and grinning from ear to ear. At any particularly exciting part he occasionally let out a gasp or a "wow". It was adorable to watch him take it all in. Baylor did just perfectly and even woke up for a bit and watched about 30 minutes of the movie. So, our first trip to the movie was a success. So much that when he woke up this morning he asked to go the the movies again today.

Now here I sit on Sunday afternoon and have a ton left on my weekend to-do list that isn't going to get done. I wouldn't trade our movie time for the world, but I feel like I am falling further and further behind on all of my responsibilities. That leads me to my "mom questions" part of this post. Adding a second little one to our family has been an easy transition in most ways, but has been a tough adjustment when it comes to my time management. I constantly feel like there aren't enough hours in the day and with any extra time I have I feel too tired to really get anything done.

So moms, I know there are several of you who read fairly regularly and most of you have two or more kids. Some of you home school, some work outside the home, and some are home engineers with kids the same age as mine. I am curious to know what your daily schedule looks like. When do you get up and start your day? When do you go to bed at night? When do you have time to yourself? When do you have quiet time with God? When do you exercise? When do you pay the bills, do the laundry, and get shopping done? How do you make time to really enjoy your kids? When do you spend time with your husband? Although I know the getting up during the night stage will not last forever, I need to know how to survive it now that I can't nap when baby naps. This time around I have another little guy around. I am EXHAUSTED to the point that I have headaches and blurred vision by the afternoons. I am useless after dinner. I can't do anything but crash. I want to know how you all do it even those whose responsibilities are a little different from mine. I don't care if you have two kids or six. It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a full-time career mom. I want to know what your day looks like. I have got to figure this out. Between work, home, wife, mom, and me responsibilities I am drowning.

You can leave your daily routine and any tips in my comments section or e-mail me at nicole (dot.) caldwell (at@) southeastfamilyservces (dot.) com. Thanks ladies!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

GLIMPSES OF UNCERTAINTY

On Thursday, despite the fact that I was still feeling pretty rough, I took Grayson up to the mall by our house to play on the indoor playground. We typically do lots of fun activities in the summer, but with the heat and a new baby our options have been really limited. I feel guilty not getting him out to do things so on Thursday we ventured out.

Grayson has always been pretty careful. He is definitely all boy, but there are times where he really exercises caution and I am very thankful for that. When we arrived at the playground I noticed that there were some older children there. Historically Grayson plays best with children his age or a little younger. He is always a little hesitant around older children. The only exception to this is my friend, Cindy's, kids. He is fairly comfortable around them, but I think that is because they have been having play time together since Grayson was born. It also helps that Cindy's oldest son is really good with Grayson and seems to understand that Grayson needs some time to warm up each time they play together.

Actually saying he is hesitant around older children really doesn't describe him well. He is often reluctant to play in a situation where there are a lot of older children. So at the mall I knew he might be nervous. I found a spot to sit and park our sleeping baby and encouraged Grayson to go play. He said, very politely, "No thank you" and decided he wanted to sit in my lap. We watched the other children play for about 10 minutes. Grayson finally decided to join the chaos. He got down and proceeded very cautiously to an area where there were only a couple of children. Anytime anyone even looked as though they might approach him, he quickly walked away to find somewhere else to play. After about 5 minutes of this he decided he was ready to get in the mix a little. He went over to the slide (the most crowded area) and began to climb up. He continued to be very cautious and looked back at me every single step of the way. He would look back and as soon as I would give him a smile he would continue on. If a much older child got too close, he would retreat a few steps, wait for that child to move on, and then he would continue on. More quickly than I expected Grayson decided he was ready to go home.

Part of this uncertainty and hesitation has always been a characteristic of our oldest son. Days like Thursday get me all teary over my very tender-hearted and sweet oldest child. He is very social, but has his comfort zone. He is very adventurous, but has his boundaries. He is very able, but almost always uses caution. Additionally, he constantly looks to Justin or myself for that smile or nod of confirmation that what he is doing is okay. Thursday I initially caught myself wanting to just push him out there to play, but then it hit me. This is exactly what you want for your child. This is what you are hoping to instill in him. He should be cautious. He should check out things before diving in. He should seek the counsel and advice of his parents or another wise mentor. It is wonderful he seeks to please us because that prepares his heart to be taught about pleasing his Heavenly Father through his actions. That is when I got all teary. I pray that we get this right. God has given us a very prepared heart and I pray we shepherd it well. He will not always be looking back at me for that approval and I hate to think of the day that those glances back to me begin to decrease because I am a mom and that is the way my heart works. However, as a parent under God's calling I can only pray and work to make sure that when those glances for approval aren't back to me that they are to God.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

WE WERE WELL ON OUR WAY

Yep, we were well on our way to routine. "Were" is the keyword in that sentence and my title. Baylor has been sleeping well. My recovery has been incredibly easier in comparison to the "regular delivery" recovery I experienced with Grayson. Baylor is nursing every 3 hours like clockwork and is pretty happy unless he has a dirty diaper. I went into the office on Monday with Baylor is tow and that went well. I am gradually working my way through the mass of e-mails and messages I received over the last two weeks. Grayson has adjusted well. Preschool started back on Monday after a week break and Justin is on his second week of work since being out for a week following Baylor's birth.

Yep, we were well on our way to a normal routine that was both productive and comfortable after feeling like our world has been in complete unheaval since I was put on bed rest at the end of April. I have been craving that normal routine in a bad way since April. Don't get me wrong, the upheaval was well worth it since it was required to get little Baylor here as healthy as possible. However, I do much better and feel like a much more productive person with a regular, normal routine.

We were well on our way to comfortable and normal with our newest addition falling right into the routine with us. That is, until yesterday. Yesterday we had a very busy morning. First, we had Baylor's two week check-up followed by Baylor's scheduled feeding in the car after the appointment (a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do). In addition to having to be at an appointment by 9:30 with both kids, Justin had a 7:30 meeting so I was on my own for the morning routine. Needless to say I was impressed with myself when we arrived at the 9:30 appointment 10 minutes early. After Baylor finished his meal time in the car we headed to Justin's office. Grayson loves to see the "girls" there and color with them and Justin wanted to introduce Baylor to everyone. After a little "show and tell" we went out for a family lunch at a place near Justin's office. After lunch we dropped Justin off at work and headed over to my office. It was almost time for Baylor to eat again, I had a few things to take care of, and Grayson has some big brother presents waiting for him there. We left my office around 2:00 to journey home for Grayson, Baylor, and maybe even Mommy to get afternoon naps. When we were leaving my office I began to feel really tired. I didn't think much of it and assumed my at home to-do list may just have to wait until I could get a quick power nap in.

When we got home Grayson went right to sleep and Baylor wasn't far behind. I was feeling a little chilly so I bumped up the thermostat a few degrees. That should have been the first signal that something was REALLY wrong. I attempted to get cozy on the couch for a quick nap. Instantly, and when I say instantly I mean all of a sudden with little warning, my whole body starts to ache and I am freezing. I convince myself I am just tired and I need to relax and try to fall asleep. After about 10 minutes I begin shaking uncontrolably, I develop a pounding headache, and I feel like I am going to vomit at any minute. After another 10 minutes of trying to convince myself that I was just really tired, I realize something is wrong. Then panic sets in. I decide immediately I must have some sort of crazy infection from the c-section and that I am surely going to die. Dramatic I know, but I was very scared. I try to get up to get some Tylenol and I can't sit up let alone stand. I quickly realize that I have two children sleeping and if either of them were to wake up, I couldn't get to them. Fortunately, my phone was within reach. I call Justin and ask him to come home. At that point I was shaking so badly that I could barely speak. I hated calling him to leave work (you know me and how I am about asking for help), but I felt like the situation was getting bad fast.

It took Justin about 20 minutes to get home. Grayson woke up about five minutes before he arrived. It was torture to hear him calling me from his room and to be unable to get to him. Justin called my doctor on the way home and handed me the phone when he walked in the door. The nurse instructed me to take my temperature. It was 99.8. My normal is 97.6 so 99.8 is a little bit of a fever for me. The nurse called the doctor and the doctor said to take Tylenol and go to the hospital if the symptoms get worse. Otherwise I was scheduled for 10 am the following morning (today). My biggest fear was vomiting since my incision still hurts when I cough or sneeze. After 3 or 4 Tylenol and laying on a heating pad for about 2 hours, the fever broke and the chills went away. The headache is still around, but is no where near as severe and the nausea subsided after I was able to drink a milkshake around 8:30 (don't ask me why the only thing I could stomach was a milkshake).

This morning after preschool drop-off Justin drove me to the doctor. Turns out that I have mastitis. It is an infection related to nursing. I will not provide any more details since some of you are already wishing I had given a TMI notice before this. It isn't a huge deal and will not interfere with my abiliy to continue nursing. I actually had it with Grayson as well, but it was no where near as severe or as sudden.

So, we are back out of routine. Justin was home yesterday afternoon and all day today. Mainly to care for the boys since I am still pretty weak and useless. I hate being out of comission. It doesn't fit with my personality.

An additional update, Baylor's appointment went relatively well. I say relatively because our initial concern going into this appointment was weight gain since he lost weight between his first and second appointments. At this appointment he had gained 10 ounces (in one week) and is up to 7 pounds, 10 ounces. I talked with the doctor about the fact that milk often comes out of his nose when he is nursing. As an SLP who has some experience with feeding issues, I knew this wasn't normal. I had already checked for a cleft in his palate and the doctor seemed to think that looked fine as well. Her suggestion, a swallow study. I knew in the back of my mind that would probably be the recommendation, but the reality of hearing that kind of made me feel sick. I have done swallow studies on babies. They are not fun for the baby or the mom. Additionally, the idea that my little fella may be having some trouble scares the life out of me. It shouldn't. I would be very familiar with all the ways to address the issues, but it is different when you are dealing with your own baby instead of working with another family and another child. When you are treating, it is your job. When it is your baby, it is scary. We are praying that the swallow study looks fine and Baylor stops being so dramatic while he is eating. I will post once the study is scheduled so that you all can pray for us on that day.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

ONE WEEK

Baylor was one week old yesterday. I put off posting until today because he didn't have his one week check-up until today. It has been a fast and eventful week to say the least. I can't believe our little guy has been here with us for a week already.
Obviously part of the week went by quickly while we were in the hospital. Those days just run all together anyway. It doesn't matter day or night time just ticks by with the seemingly constant poking and prodding of the nurses. We had some pretty great nurses in the hospital and one not-so-great nurse who refused to give me pain medicine and kept insisting my abdominal pain was gas and I just needed to "get up and walk around". WHAT?!?!? Gas, really? I am pretty sure I just had a baby removed through a big gash in my stomach and now have 18 staples holding that gash closed. The pain I was feeling most certainly wasn't related to that. No, it had to be gas. Whatever lady!
Baylor did great in the hospital and continues to do well at home. So far he is very mild tempered, just like his older brother. He doesn't cry unless he has a dirty diaper and occasionally when it is time to eat. He is already on a wonderful schedule where he eats every 3 hours and gets up during the night every 3-4 hours. During the day he stays awake to play after his feedings and then takes about a two hour nap before he next feeding. At night he goes right back to sleep after he eats. So far he has been a very easy baby. The only issues we have had so far is that he was borderline jaundiced and we had to get his billirubin (not sure about the spelling there) levels checked several times. The regular eating and pooping kept the levels below needing intervention. He eats regularly but he doesn't like to eat a lot so he actually lost weight between his weight check on Sunday and today. Only 6 ounces but he did loose. I am going to work a little harder to get him to eat longer at each feeding and see if we can't remedy that.
He and Grayson are the same in some ways and different in some. He seems to be laid back like Grayson was and just as content. Grayson always pooped out of his diapers. Baylor keeps the poop in, but is like Houdini when it comes to getting the pee out. We change his outfit at least four times per day. Grayson never liked to sleep on his back and couldn't sleep more than 5 minutes that way. Baylor seems very content sleeping on his back. Grayson didn't get a pacifier until he was 2 weeks old and even then didn't really use it that much. Baylor has had a pacifier since day two in the hospital because he constantly wants to have something in his mouth. So although they look a lot alike and are equally easy babies (so far at least) they are also very different.
Grayson has been wonderful with Baylor. He is very helpful and just LOVES his baby brother. Even though everyone else calls him "Baylor", Grayson still calls him "baby brother" which, I think is just adorable. Grayson gets in the crib at night to say bedtime prayers with baby brother, he helps give him his bath, and he sits on the changing table every chance he gets for diaper changes and wardrobe changes. Today Grayson left (for the first time since Baylor was born) to stay the night with his Nanny and Grandpa. This morning I explained to Grayson that they were coming to visit and that he could go home with them for the night if he wanted. He asked if baby brother could go and I explained that brother had to stay here with mommy. Grayson responded "I stay here". So cute that he didn't want to go away without his brother. Now that all changed when Nanny and Grandpa got here. He was very quickly persuaded to go to their house. Which, by the way, it feels super strange not to have both of my boys here. I have enjoyed the opportunity to get some extra rest, but I can't wait for my little boy to get back tomorrow.
Speaking of rest, we have had some amazing help the last week. My dad, Sue, and Brooke were here with Grayson while we were in the hospital. We had one night here just as a family and then my mom came for the weekend. Justin's mom and Jack were here helping on Monday and Tuesday and my dad and Sue were here again today for part of the day to help me get Baylor to his doctor's appointment. We have been so blessed!

Friday, July 2, 2010

BAYLOR'S BIRTHDAY


Although he has been a part of our family much longer, Baylor has only officially been in the family for 3 days. Already I can't imagine our family without him. God has blessed us with such an amazing gift in our newest son.

On Tuesday, June 29th, Justin and I left for the hospital around 9:30 am after a very restless night and an early morning full of baking because I just couldn't sleep any longer. Well, that and I wanted to leave treats for Nanny, Papa, Peyton, and Aunt B. They have all helped by moving in with Grayson while Mommy, Daddy, and Baylor have been living at the hospital. We had a couple of errands to run so we finally arrived at the hospital around 10:15. Let me just go ahead and state, for the record, that at 10:15 I was already so hungry I could have eaten my arm and so thirsty I would have drank up the ocean. I just don't get no food or liquids after midnight for a 1:30 pm procedure!

Upon arrival we did the whole check-in process and were then parked in our Labor and Delivery room (Room 7). I liked our nurse, Cheryl, right away. We spent the first hour and a half monitoring the baby, drawing blood for labs, getting my IV started, answering lots of surveys, filling out paperwork, doing the anesthesia prep, and getting my IV started. I must add here that I was having some mildly intense regular contractions while on the monitor, which helped me feel like Baylor was ready to be born. We had a birth plan, but were very unsure of what to expect since my last three deliverys were not by c-section. Cheryl was very patient in answering all of my questions and provided us with valid explanations for all of the things that were not going to go the way we were hoping (i.e. being able to try breastfeeding immediately).

At 12:20 we began our walk to the Operating Romm (OR). Once we arrived Justin was instructed to get his OR attire on outside the door and wait there for instructions to come in. The hubby is not allowed in until after the spinal has been given in case they were to pass out seeing a long needle go into their wife's spine. They took me inside. It was FREEZING in there. I mean seriously freezing. They had to bring me warming blankets right away because I began shaking like a maniac and couldn't stop. Shaking like a maniac doesn't work well for having a long needle stuck into your spine. After getting everything set up we waited for Dr. Brannon.

Dr. B arrived with a bang busting in the door with an ultrasound machine. He wanted to be certain Baylor was still breech before he cut me open. As soon as he put the jellied wand on the top of my belly all you could see was a big round head. So, we were ready to get started. The needle guy got ready and I was prepped for my spinal. Let me say that I was very nervous about the spinal. When I got the epidural for Grayson the numbing stuff didn't start working as quickly as it does for most people and when he first tried to stick the needle in, I felt it! It was terrible and I was so fearful that would happen again. Not only that, but it was the same needle guy that did my epidural with Grayson. Lots of wasted fear because although the pressure was miserable, I felt no pain with the Spinal going in and before I knew it I was laying on the table and numb from my underarms down.

The nurses instructed Justin to come back in the room and take his place seated on a stool by my head. As Dr. B returned to the OR he says, "Hey Justin! Stand up and watch this." I guess all he needed was an invitation because Justin stood up and watched the entire event on the other side of the curtain. I could not see the doctor. I could only see Justin and the big blue curtain. The anesthesiology tech talked me through every step of the procedure so I would know what was going on. I could feel lots of pulling an tugging and after about 20 minutes I heard the doctor say "boy" and then I heard the cries of my little Baylor. Those first cries are such a wonderful sound. Baylor was born (pulled out by the doctor) at 1:19 pm, weighed exactly 7 lbs, and measured 19 3/4 inches long.

For about 15 minutes I could hear Baylor and I was kept in the loop by Justin who was with him as they cleaned him and did all the baby care stuff they do in the OR. I could not, however, see Baylor. That was very hard for me. I just wanted to lay eyes on him and see that he ws really here, but I was stuck still on the other side of the big blue curtain unable to see anything. Finally, they let Justin bring him over to me. I could not hold him or really even get a good look at him upside down, but I did get to at least see that living, breathing, wide awake, bundle of baby. My heart melted!!! He was so alert. All the nurses kept talking about his wide open eyes and beautiful lips. From those comments I knew he would look a little like his brother. Dr. B finished the work on me and declared that there is nothing wrong with my uterus (something he has wondered since my difficulty carrying the twins) and that if I desire and the baby is head down, I can do a vaginal deliveries from here on out.

The next hour was the longest ever. They took Baylor off (remember I still have held him or even looked at him upright) to the nursery and I was sent off to recovery in my Labor and Delivery Room. Justin went with Baylor so that he could take pictures and so that Baylor would not be without one of us while he was poked and inspected. Finally around 2:30 or 3:00 my little baby was finally placed in my arms. It was too long to wait, but it was definitely love at first sight when he finally arrived. He nursed right away and did very well.

Once I was declared recovered enough we were moved to our permanent room in the Women's Pavilion (23). We got settled there and shortly after Grayson arrived to meet his baby brother. It has been a blur ever since. Hospital stays are like that. Between the drugs, the all night check-ins, and the visitors during the day, I stay completely drained.

Baylor continues to do well. There was some thought he may be jaundiced, but the test came back within normal limits this morning. He is breastfeeding well and has only lost about 4 ounces of weight since Tuesday. We should be able to go home later this morning. I can't wait to get home to where the four of us can be together and start getting adjusted to our new family.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

BAYLOR JOSEPH CALDWELL

Our newest addition, Baylor Joseph, was born today via c-section at 1:19pm. Baylor weighs 7 lbs even and is 19 3/4 inches long. He is just amazing. Baylor and I are both doing well, but are tired after such an eventful day. Grayson was the first to meet his brother and is already very protective and a tad bit possessive over his "baby brother".

I will post his birth story later this week when I have more energy, but I did want to post some pictures before trying to get some sleep.




Monday, June 28, 2010

THIS TIME TOMORROW. . .

our new little one will be here! Isn't that crazy?!?!? I am so excited. We have been so busy preparing lately that tomorrow has totally crept up on me. I just can't believe it. Speaking of being so busy. . .so many of you have sent sweet emails and messages. If I have not responded, please forgive me. We have been swamped. Your kind words and thoughts mean the world to me and it warms my heart to know that so many are eagerly anticipating the arrival of our little one and praying for his health and safe delivery.

As I try to wind down tonight and get ready for bed, I can't help but think about the night before Grayson was born. Grayson was scheduled for induction on April 22nd. I had mixed feelings about being induced because I wanted his birthday to be the day he was really ready to arrive. I prayed and prayed he would come on his own. I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 7 am. Justin and I both went to bed and barely slept at all. We were so excited for the coming day.
-TMI ALERT (Childbirth stuff in the coming paragraphs)-
At 3 am I got up to go to the bathroom, a very common occurance for a 9 month pregnant woman. I went to the restroom and as I was about to get up a huge gush of fluid came out and it wasn't urine. My water broke. Justin jumped up immediately and the rush began. I called the doctor and he said to get right to the hospital. I wasn't hurting and was pretty sure that I wasn't contracting regularly so I took my time getting ready. I took a shower, Justin did some laundry, and then we hit the road.

On the way to the hospital I began contracting some but not bad. We arrived around 5am. After checking in and being hooked to monitors it was confirmed that even though my water did break I was not really progressing. I was contracting, but the contractions were mild and irregular. The doctor recommended pitocin and I went with it. Pitocin was started at 6 am. I now think that stuff comes straight from the veins of the devil. Needing it to deliver Avery confirmed that my memory served me correctly and it is really THAT awful.

My plan was to do without pain meds. I made it to 9 am and 6cm without drugs, but that Pitocin was no joke. The nurse kept telling me that it causes hard contractions and if I wanted to progress to 10cm, then they were going to need to increase the Pitocin. All I could think was, "INCREASE?!?!?!? This stuff is miserable already!" She also kept telling me that no one has Pitocin and not an epideural. Thanks for pysching me out.

At 10 am I got my epideural and went to sleep. It was a nice relief for me and for Justin who had been amazingly supportive of my plan to go without paid meds, but was thrilled when I accepted them. At 11:30 I awoke to some pressure and the nurse came in to check me. I was fully dialated and we started pushing. After about an hour of pushing the nurse noted that Grayson's heartrate was dropping with each push. She decided he needed a break. I still find it interesting that at lunch time, "the baby" needed a break. Anyway, she instructed me to rest for an hour and call her if I felt an increase in pressure. Around 1:30 the nurse returned and we started pushing again.

Around 2:10 she announced that we were almost there and called the doctor. After a couple more pushes Grayson Charles was born at 2:19 pm weighing 6lbs, 8 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. He was perfect. He had beautiful skin and was just perfect. He nursed right away and even at birth displayed the gentle and easy going demeanor he is adored for today. The last two years with him have been amazing and I am excited to see what a wonderful big brother he is going to be.

Tomorrow's birth experience is going to be completely differnt than my journey with both Grayson and the twins. Tomorrow is a scheduled C-Section. This is honestly a place I never thought I would end up. I really wanted to try for a natural plan again knowing I could refuse pitocin (something I was not aware of with Grayson). God had a different plan. I did do some research about why babies stay breech and I have found some peace in my research. Apparently some babies stay breech because of the position of the cord and the fact that it would be dangerous for them to flip. I feel better knowing that it may be necessary for his health for my little guy to be the wrong way. Yes, I am still crazy nervous about the c-section. I have never had any major surgery and my last expereince in a Labor and Delivery OR was not a positive one.

Thanks in advance for all the prayers tomorrow. We will post an announcement on FB as soon as baby arrives and I will update the blog as soon as I am able. For those planning to visit, we are asking for no visitors until after 5pm. Grayson takes an afternoon nap and we want him to be the first to meet his brother. Thanks in advance for respecting our wishes for that experience to be special for us with our boys. We will likely be at Western Wake Med until Friday. We are happy to have visitors at the hospital anytime Wedensday, Thursday, or Friday evening (in our home). If you plan to stop by our home, please call first. Now I am off to have a snack (since I can't eat for the next 12 hours) and then to try to get some sleep.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

39 WEEKS & BUSY-BUSY

I can't believe Little Firecracker is still hanging in there at 39 weeks. I really thought this baby would be here by now. Oh well, he will come when he is ready or he will be taken by c-section on Tuesday. Either way, this is our last weekend before Baby Brother arrives.

I don't have to make excuses about not blogging lately. We have been overwhelmed. In addition to preparing for our addition and trying to catch up from bedrest before maternity leave, we have been hit with some pretty major stuff lately. Some joyful, some sad. Some good, some bad. Some stressful, some relaxing. Some fun, some exhausting. Some easy, some overwhelming. Some for sharing, some not. During the rest of this post I will update about some of what we have been up to. Other things, I will not share. I will not apologize for not sharing because I don't feel led to share all of our personal goings on. Just know that we are overwhelmed on most days and as we are called to do as a family we are praying and working our way through it. God is carrying us and I have felt His presence more lately than I have in a while. For that, I am thankful.

As summer has gotten into full swing our schedule has changed a bit. Grayson is now in preschool on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. He will go for the month of June, have a break the week following Independence Day, and go for the month of July. He will be out in August and then return to school for the regular school year after we return from vacation in September. Baby Brother will be attending the same preschool in the infant room beginning in October. Grayson loves school. When he was out the week after Memorial Day he asked about his teachers almost every day. That let me know that I made the right choice by enrolling him in the summer program.

Since his schedule changed and public schools/universities are out (Mommy and Daddy Hantla work in education) we are no longer keeping the Hantla children on Fridays. Grayson really misses seeing them so we try to get together to play regularly. For their last week with us Katie and Bryce kept Grayson that Thursday evening so Justin and I could go on a date. Since they were at our home that evening and their kids were coming here Friday morning, we decided to just do a sleepover. So, Grayson had his first sleepover (other than his cousins) with Rin and Abe. They were adorable in the morning when they realized they were all waking up at the same place.


Grayson spent Father's Day weekend spending some time with my dad, Papa, and on Sunday spent the day with daddy. It was a fun weekend for Grayson. Nannie and Papa recently put in a pool at their house. For the 1 1/2 days we were there, Grayson spent most of his time in the pool. He has really gained a lot of confidence in the water, which make me feel more comfortable with him being in the water. With his water wings on, he is unstoppable. He loves to "jump high" into the pool all by himself and loves to swim without any help. You can see from the shots that he is a real fish.


He also had a great time swimming with Nanny and Papa, playing with Peyton, and riding the golf cart with Great Granny.



Grayson is talking so much more these days. I know I feel like I am saying that all the time, but every week he has a million new words and phrases. Some of them are pretty funny too. He likes to announce to anyone "I funny ha-ha" (a phrase he learned from Grammy) and he has occasionally tried to get out of trouble by declaring that what he did was "funny". We think he is hilarious and it has been hard to keep a straight face sometimes when discipline is necessary. He talks constantly while we are in the car. He has learned all about stoplights and announces that "Green mean go" when the light turns from red to green. He is becoming more indpendent and will begin most tasks by saying "I do it" and when offered help says "no, not!". We are working on using "no thank-you" instead. He is very compliant and polite most of the time. Our current favorite saying is his reply of compliance when asked to do something. Most of the time our good little boy says "Okay Mommy" or "Okay Daddy" even when you ask him to do something he doesn't particularly want to do (like say good-bye to his friends). Isn't he just too sweet?!?!?

We have hysterical moments around our house regularly. I try to make sure to blog about them so they are not forgotten when he is older. Just the other day, while on the potty, Grayson decided to give me a massage. I typically sit or squat on the floor in front of him when he is on the potty to make sure he doesn't fall in. He reached out and started massaging my shoulders. I have no idea where he learned this, but he is pretty good at it. He did my shoulders, neck, and arms. Later that evening we were at an outdoor movie near our house. There are so many fun, free things to do around here during the summer. Anyway, I wanted Grayson to show Justin how he could massage. He starts at my shoulders and before I know it he is massaging my, ummmmm, chest. Yeah, there were tons of people around. I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. I am sure they were thinking, ewwwww what goes on at that house. It was hilarious!!!

Grayson likes to bed read to while he is having a number two on the potty. There is one book in particular that has made it to our downstairs half bath and since it is the only one in there, it has been read to Grayson a million times. I finally convinced him to read the book to mommy while he pottied the other day. Is pottied a word? Oh well! Anyway, he babbled on with some made up words and he "read" the book. It went something like this, "A ba be do pa to me ah du happens". So yeah, apparently the word "happens" is used it this book a lot. It was something I have never noticed, but apparently Grayson did. SO SMART!

So, here we are in our last weekend with just the three of us around the house. We went to dinner last night. Note to self, Grayson LOVES shrimp. I was craving seafood so we went to this place near our house. Justin and I considered letting Grayson share some of our meals and at the last minute ordered him his own kid's shrip plate. Good thing we did. Although it was as big as the shrimp plate I ordered, he ate all but 3 of the shrimp. He loved it! Today we took him to the sprayground. That is one of our favorite activities, but it is rare that daddy gets to go with us since I typically take Grayson during the week when I can escape from the office. I have a bunch of work to do this afternoon to prepare for next week and we have church tomorrow. All in all we are just trying to take it easy and get everything done to prepare for the arrival of Firecracker on Tuesday. I can't believe he will be here in 3 days.

Obviously there is still a chance that he will flip over and come on his own. I would be so happy with that and pray for it daily. So, if you want to pray for us and Baby Firecracker PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE pray that he will turn and I will go into labor before Tuesday. That would be an amazing gift. I am not a fan of the C-Section and get more nervous about it the closer we get to the 29th.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

VERSION FAIL

The procedure today was unsuccessful, but thankfully uncomplicated. The doctor attempted to turn Firecracker four times. It was incredibly uncomfortable. No, make that painful and frustrating. This little guy didn't budge. He is apparently stuck and the doctor doesn't expect he will turn on his own.

I was hoping if Firecracker wouldn't turn today then the docotor would go ahead and do a c-section. I mean for pete's sake we were there, we were checked in, we had our bags, and Nanny and Papa were with Grayson. No such luck. None of that mattered. Apparently my doctor will not schedule a c-section unless there are complications prior to 39 weeks because the hospital doesn't like for him to. BOOOO!

So where do we go from here? Well, I am shceduled for a c-section on the 29th. If I go into labor before then when I arive at the hospital they will check to see if Firecracker is still breech and do a c-section if he is.

So here we sit at home and still wondering what the next two weeks will hold. I would love to go into labor before the 29th. I would love it even better if this little stinker would turn around and I would go into labor soon! That would be ideal!!! Thanks for all the prayers and words of encouragement today!

Monday, June 14, 2010

VERSION

Tomorrow is the day. I go in at 6:30 and the procedure is scheduled to start at 7:30. I really do not think Firecracker has turned. I am sure he hasn't because I can really feel his head all up around my ribs. My hope for tomorrow is that the version will successfully turn this little man and then I will go into labor shortly after so that he does not have the opportunity to flip back over. That would be my ideal plan. I like that plan. I am sure God just chuckles when I say things like that. That's okay with me. I know His plan will be perfect, but I can't help but wonder what that plan might be.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

RRMS

When I was around nine or ten my mom never felt well. That is about all I remember from her first experience with Multiple Sclerosis. She was tired a lot and would sleep for a really long time. I was a kid and the rest is a blur. I do remember her going to lots of doctors and the grown-ups around talking about lots of tests.

I can't remember exactly when she began to feel better but it seems that around the time she started doing better she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). This may be a bit of an inaccurate time line, but that is how I remember it. She seemed better and then I was old she had a disease. At the time I did not know, but do now, that the type of MS that my mom has is called Relapsing/Remitting Multiple Sclerosis.
Just click on the term to learn about what that particular type of MS is.

For the rest of my life, since age ten or eleven, my mom has been mostly healthy as far as I know. Again, this is my version of things. It is possible that mom has had relapses throughout that time, but if she did she didn't tell me about it. That is kind of the nature of my mom. She is the forever caregiver and will never stop and let anyone care for her. When she is sick, she doesn't broadcast it and I often don't know if she has felt ill or has not been well. So, as far as I know my mom has been pretty much relapse free most of her life. If she has had any relapse it has been minimal and so much so that she was able to get through it without me knowing about it.

A while ago my mom mentioned her MS and talked about being followed more closely by her specialist. Well obviously that got my antenna up and I have been doing a little reading of my own on RRMS since. As a child I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea that my mom had a disease nor could I even begin to understand the complicated diagnosis.

Fast forward to about 3 1/2 weeks ago. We were having bible study at our house and my mom called as it was starting and left me a message. I decided to check her message just before we got started with our study time. I could hardly understand her. She was asking something about a desk we had, I could tell she was in her car, but her words were all slurred and jumbled. I called her back immediately because I thought something must be wrong. She answered in her usual cheerful voice. She sounded clearer. I asked if she was okay and explained that her speech sounded slurred in her message. She said, "Oh, I am just tired". I explained that I needed to get back to bible study and we ended the call. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

My concerns began to grow as my imagination went crazy with the "what if it's MS" thoughts. Since I had done some reading I was really hyper sensitive to any of the symptoms and slurred speech was definitely a sign that relapse was happening. I called my mom that Friday (Memorial Weekend) and she seemed okay, but tired. She explained that she had not had energy for several days and just couldn't seem to get with it. At this point I think she was having some other symptoms as well, but as usual she didn't want anyone to worry or fuss over her. I stressed that I felt like she should see her specialist.

On the following Tuesday mom came up and spent the day with Grayson and I. We had a blast and she seemed like her usual self. We went to Monkey Joe's for a bit and Grayson had a blast going down the big slides with his Grammy. Mom said she was feeling better than she had over the weekend, but of course that was after four days of nothing but rest.

On Wednesday my mom went to the doctor. The news wasn't good. My mom is officially in the middle of a MS attack. She is no longer in remission. I feel sick just typing that out. My mom is so outgoing, stays super busy, and is constantly doing for everyone around her. This attack came fast and has been rough.

If you don't know much about MS, it basically attacks various places in your body. One day your speech is slurred, the next you have vocal tremors. One day you can't use your hands, the next your vision blurs. One day you have trouble swallowing food, the next you have trouble making sensible speech. My mom has had all of the symptoms this go around, plus more that I am sure she doesn't tell anyone about.

She immediately began an I.V. steroid called Solu-Medrol. For five days she went to the hospital and spent 2-3 hours having this medicine pumped into her body. She finished those treatments this past Monday. Now she is on a taper down oral form of the same drug. The treatments were rough. They leave you swollen, leave a metallic taste in your mouth, cause fatigue, and the side effects go on and on. My mom was a trooper! I did have to stay on her a lot about getting her rest. She just doesn't like to stop and admit that she needs caring for and that she needs rest. She is not a well behaved patient.

I don't really know what comes next. She will follow-up with her doctor in another couple of weeks and I guess we will find out then how this may play out. MS is super unpredictable and there is no way to know if or when it will go back into remission. There is no way to know if all of the traces will go away and she will fully recover in the aftermath. There is no way to know how she will feel from one day to the next.

Grayson and I went to visit on Tuesday and she had a good day. She has those, good days and bad days. We had fun resting with her and just visiting. It is so hard to see my mom and know that she is unable to be on the go the way she is used to. Don't be mistaken though, she would never let on for one minute that there is anything wrong. In fact, I made sure to get her permission before posting about this because I am sure some of you readers know my mom and had no idea she is going through all of this.

Well, now you know. Please pray for her. She needs healing and our family needs the old her back.