UNDER THE WEATHER

I have been sick. Like can't get off the couch sick for several days. The details I will spare you. I only say that to say that this new year hasn't gotten off to the start I expected. My Christmas decorations are still up, the house is a wreck, and although the boys are back to their half-day programs we have not started homeschool back up. Our planned start back date was January 6th. That was yesterday. I haven't even changed the calendar in our homeschool room from December. I am trying to not let it get the best of me. I am trying to be a little more go with the flow. I am trying to really take on and appreciate the flexibility of homeschooling. That kind of flexible attitude that says, "Oh it isn't a big deal. We will catch up." I know I have friends who do it. Just this year a friend moved and from what I understand they pretty much ceased all schooling for a few weeks. I have another friend who just had a baby. I am sure that really rocks the daily schedule. Their feathers do not seem ruffled at all. I know that other moms get sick. It happens. In fact, I would probably feel a lot better overall if I didn't feel like there was a huge dark cloud over my head that thunders, "You should be doing school stuff today." I guess I am just a little new to this and a little too used to the institution of school taking place a certain way. I know I will get more flexible with time and I hope a little more laid back. For now, I am just going to have to turn it over to the Lord for peace of mind and pray that Grayson does not forget how to read or add before I get back on my feet.

THE NEW YEAR

Happy New Year! I can hardly believe that 2013 is over, Christmas is gone, and we are moving into 2014 full speed ahead. We aren't big New Year's Eve party people. We have three kids who are young. Even most family friendly activities would keep our kids out later than they can really stand. I also don't have much desire to go out on the town while the kids are are home with a sitter.

For the past several years we have opted for a little party at home. We eat party food for dinner. This year was meatballs, queso dip with chips, nuggets, and edemamme wontons. After dinner we tuned in to a replay of the London countdown and fireworks display. At this point our kids don't really get that the real New Year countdown doesn't happen until midnight so they are thrilled with our countdown. We toast with sparkling grape juice (which I secretly love. It is so yum!)and have a big time. This year we added in some conversation about resolutions. I always set resolutions. Like every other person I think I fail at many of them, but I think it is important to train our children up to be goal oriented. What better time to set goals than at the start of the New Year. After some explanation we asked each of the boys what their resolutions were. Rowan pointed to the craft closet. Since he is still a man of few words I took that to mean he would like to do more crafts in 2013. Baylor said, "I would like to paint more". Another really good goal for a 3-year old. Grayson announced that he would like to "study God's word more" in the new year. His resolution made this mama's heart soar.

My own resolution this year is pretty simple and complex at the same time. I want to not only study God's word more, like Grayson, but I want to learn how to better trust Him, rest in his plan, and be stretched by His plan for my life. I struggle in this area. I am a bit of a perfectionist in the worst way. In the way that I often think I am the only one that can do it right and it has to be my way. That doesn't really jive with my faith. My faith and knowledge of scripture tells me that it can only be His way. I know that I need to learn to listen more, meditate more on his word, and allow him to carry me to places I wouldn't wander on my own. It is a little scary to think about what that may mean, but I have an ache in my heart to seek Him with complete abandon. I want to know Him better.

My resolution was birthed out of a song I heard. The words shook me at my core. Just last week a friend of mine and a family member of one of my dearest friends passed away after a very long battle with an eating disorder. Her service was inspiring. The faith of her family is always encouraging. At the very beginning of the service a song was played. I bet I have heard it a handful of times. I even knew some of the words as it played. However, this time my heart was in a different place, a little more open to hear what He was saying through the song. It was like God was calling out to me at that very moment. The song is "Oceans" by Hillsong United and the words that griped me are:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

So I will enter this new year with a desire to let Him lead me and show me how to trust fully as He strengthens my faith.

You can watch a video of that song here.