HEAVEN IS HAVING A FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY

First I want to share a bit from The Velveteen Rabbit that another blogger shared in relation to the loss of her twins. . .


"What is Real?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

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If the standard for being Real is someone REALLY loving you, then our twins were most definitely real. They weren't with us for a long time, but they were most definitely loved for a long time. Since before we even knew they were there. God loved them and their family loved them. Oh yes, they were most definitely real and changed our lives in a real way.

One year ago today Faith and Avery were born into our family. That same day they went on to Heaven after only spending moments with us. In a perfect world we would be planning a wonderful party for this weekend. In a perfect world we would be celebrating the first birthday of two healthy and beautiful little girls. Our world and our family is not perfect.

Instead today our little girls are having a much more grand party than we can even imagine. I am jealous. They should be here with us today, but instead they are celebrating in Heaven.

This Mother's Day our family is feeling sad. I only have two of my four children here with me. Yes, having the two here is a huge blessing for which I am very grateful. That doesn't take away the pain. It doesn't make it any easier. Real love, the kind a mother has for her children, opens you up for real pain.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my sister, Cindy, Sue, Jennifer, our Granny, our Grandma Betty, Luci, and all the other mother's in our extended family. Happy Mother's Day to all of my blogger moms and friends who read. I also want to wish a very Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers who have also given their babies back to Heaven too soon. They are often forgotten today and deserve the biggest Mother's Day hug of them all.