AND AGAIN. . .

I have gone longer than I like to between postings. I had all of the best intentions to blog about all sorts of wonderful things over the last week, but time seems to run very quickly away from me. I guess that should be expected when you spend a month unable to do anything on your to-do list and you have a baby to prepare for, a household to manage, a mommy role to play, and a clinic to run. No, I wouldn't change it for the world. Well, I would like to have changed the best rest thing, but I would not give up any of my responsibilities for the world. They are all blessings.

In addition our lap top has still not been replaced. The new one is due to arrive today and I have done my best to arrange to be home when the Fed Ex guy arrives. I have had a ton to do today and still some appointments so I hope he and I can meet at our house at just the right time. We don't make a lot of big purchases around our house and I really feel like a kid at Christmas waiting for this package to arrive. It has been very frustrating to try to manage my workload with only a desktop at home. My lap top is my work computer. It allows me to work from home when I need to and it is my computer in the office. I have been a wreck without it. I am sure the other gals at work will be happy for me to have my new computer too. That way I can stop constantly booting them out of the way to get to the things I need.

I went to the doctor on Wednesday. I will be 37 weeks tomorrow. The main purpose of this appointment was to see if Firecracker had moved into the appropriate, head down, position and for my Strep-B test. They are no longer concerned with my cervical length since I am now considered full-term. Sure enough this little bugger was still in the wrong position. The doctor gave me the option to schedule an external cephalic version or a c-section for next week. I opted for the version first. The ECV or Version is where the doctor attempts to turn the baby manually by mashing and pushing on the baby from the outside. It has to be done in the hospital where I can have fetal monitoring, ultrasound, and be close to the OR should complications arise and an emergency c-section become necessary. My Version has been scheduled for Tuesday morning at 6:30 am. Well, I am to arrive at 6:30 to begin IV fluids and preparation. I have been told the actual procedure will not begin until around 7:30. There are no guarantees that this will work and I am not sure what the next step will be if the Version is unsuccessful and uneventful. Uneventful meaning that Firecracker does not freak out during the procedure and display symptoms making an emergency c-section necessary.

My doctor did tell me to prepare to have a baby on Tuesday. In his words that basically means, to know it is a possibility and bring your hospital bag with you. I am not holding my breath for that and honestly hope that is not the case since it would mean an unsuccessful Version and c-section. In a perfect world the Version will work and also prompt Baby Firecracker into labor arriving sometime next week. I am not holding my breath for that either since I am trying to be more accepting of the idea that I may still be pregnant at the 40 week mark. That has been a challenge since I spend a good month or more preparing for and expecting this baby to possibly arrive early.

Grayson is also getting to the point that he is OVER the baby in the belly idea. He has made several comments this week about the baby. He now tells the baby to "get out" and "play with me". He has also pointed to my stomach and asked "baby our house?" Meaning, when is that baby going to actually come live at our house instead of in your belly? We went to visit some friends and their new born this week. Grayson loved her! He just couldn't get enough of watching her and wanting to hug and kiss on that little doll. Hopefully he will feel the same way about "brother".

I have decided that pregnancy must be one of those real tests of faith the keep God grinning as women approach the end and the entire family drives themselves crazy with the wondering about when the baby will arrive. I wish I could just sit back and be content in the idea that God knows Firecracker's birthday and that this baby will arrive when he is good and ready. Unfortunately, I am human so I will continue on wondering and stressing about something that is TOTALLY out of my control.