ADDITIONALLY. . .

Besides the needs I outlined in the post prior to this one I forgot to list that we need childcare for Grayson from 8-5:30 on
Friday May 14th
Friday May 21st
Friday May 28th

I typically watch the Hantla children on Fridays. If you are feeling extra helpful, it would be wonderful if someone could volunteer to keep all three children at our home on the above dates. It is my responsibility to keep these children on Friday's so that their dad can be in his office. Again, help is so hard to ask for but would be GREATLY appreciated.

PRIDE ASIDE

I made the mistake the last time I was on bed rest of not letting the people who wanted to help, really help. I stayed in awe of how generous people were but I could not get over the pride factor to actually let people help us. I possess the terrible shortcoming of feeling like I have to do the things that need to be done and since it is my responsibility no one else should have to do it. I even take it a step further and feel like I am failing if I ask for help. Our family and our small group were here a lot the last time I was on bed rest. That meant that most of the work fell on Justin and those who insisted because I didn't know how to respond to the offers of , "let me know what I can do". The end result was that I had a lot of catching up to do when I could finally get back to my normal routines. Believe it or not, there are still things around here that fell behind during bed rest of '09 that I have not caught up on yet.

I have decided that it is time to let that pride issue go and accept that we need help. Yes, I am only one person but I have a lot of responsibilities at home/work and Justin doing all of my at home jobs along with his own is impossible. Please know that it is incredibly hard for me to even type this post and list out these requests, but it is much easier for me to list what we need and let people decide if and how they want to help. The alternative is to respond to all the "let me know what I can do to help" statements with asking people to do specific things and I just can't do that. I would rather give people the opportunity to chose how they help us.

Again, already I am in awe of how many people have come forward in the last 24 hours to offer help. I have put everyone off by saying that I will get back to them and let them know what we need. So here is my list of the areas we need help in. If you feel led to help in any area please contact me and know in advance that we are VERY appreciative. No gift of time and/or talents is too small. We appreciate it all!

Childcare:
We need 8-5:30 childcare (preferably in our home)on the following dates:
Wednesday May 19th
Wednesday May 26th

We also need someone to hang out with me and Grayson on Sunday, May 2nd, all afternoon into the evening. That will be from around 11 until Grayson goes to bed at 8:30. Some individuals from our small group have offered to take Grayson for an outing that afternoon so it is possible this can be broken into two shifts since I can be here alone when he is gone. Justin will be out of town this entire day for a family function.

Meals:
With Justin assuming most of my household responsibilities, preparing breakfast and lunch for me and Grayson daily, and continuing to work full-time; assistance with dinner would be greatly appreciated. We would be thankful for meals on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings. I have set up a sign up system at www.takethemameal.com. The schedule for our family is under Caldwell and the password is: 6208 (our street address). I hope to get a link to this site posted on my blog sometime today.

Other (these are those areas where I would almost rather crawl under a rock than ask for someone to do any of these things):
If you feel that your gift and talents can not be utilized in the above areas then feel free to offer help in other ways. Company is always nice and I will be here every week day alone with the exception of Wednesdays and Tuesday/Thursday afternoons. Justin is assuming all household chores so if you like to vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms, or fold laundry (we will leave out undergarments ;-) , let us know that you would like to come and help in that way.

My mom, sister, and friend Melody have had a long standing offer to help set up the nursery. That is a big job and any help is welcomed as is help with washing baby clothes and organizing all of the clothes Grayson has grown out of into tubs that are labeled. Right now they are all just kind of thrown together and we need to get the closets better organized in preparation for the new baby. Justin could use some help moving furniture one evening in the coming weeks as we prepare to get the nursery set up and Grayson's big boy room set up.

I have hesitated a million times while typing this post about actually posting it. I have realized that I need to put my pride aside and my family's needs first. We need help and appreciate anything anyone is willing to do. Big hugs to our helpers in advance.

2 POINT 2

Today is April 28, 2010. On April 29, 2009, while pregnant with Faith and Avery, I was put on bed rest after visiting my doctor and realizing my water broke four days prior. That was almost a year ago.

Today I went for my regular visit with Dr. B. Two weeks ago he was not pleased with the length of my cervix and asked me to take it easy. Today's appointment did not go well. My cervix measured 2.2. Two weeks ago I measured three. Three to five is normal, anything below 2.5 requires bed rest, and anything below 1.7 means my doctor will put me in the hospital. I am officially on bed rest. For the next four weeks and I have been instructed to do NOTHING except stay in the bed or on the couch, shower as needed, and go to my OB appointments. Sound familiar? Yes, we did this one year ago. At least this time I am not going into something unfamiliar. I have done bed rest before.

Am I freaking out a little? Yes, but for different reasons this time. I feel pretty confident that our baby is safe and healthy. I just need to keep him in there a little longer and he needs to turn back to the head down position. He was head down at my last appointment and I expected him to stay that way. During the last two weeks he turned back over. Now he is feet down. Labor with feet down equals a c-section. Dr. B basically said no bed rest would likely (who knows how likely his "likely" is) result in labor and delivery in the next two weeks. A baby here before 32 weeks gestation faces a whole ton a risks and possible complications. Delivery before 32 weeks also means we have to deliver at Duke. Given the history we have there, I prefer not to go back and relive that experience. So the point of the bed rest is to keep this little bun in the oven a little longer to get bigger and to give him the opportunity to turn back to the head down position. The first goal is to get to 34 weeks. Then we will hope to get to 36 weeks, which is full term and good. 40 weeks would be amazing. 36 weeks is only 5 1/2 weeks away. I can totally do that!

The stress this time around is less related to the pregnancy and more related to the bed rest. Again, I am confident we will meet our baby in the next 4-10 weeks and he will be healthy and perfect when he arrives. It is the bed rest part that is stressful.

The coming weeks on our calendar are insanely demanding both personally and professionally. Personally we have some major things going on. Next weekend is my brother-in-law's wedding. This is the first wedding Grayson is in and now I can't be there. That same weekend is Mother's Day and Faith and Avery's birthday. The weekend after I was hoping to host a tea party in memory of Faith and Avery to honor their first birthday. Additionally we have about 5 other social gatherings and special occasions to attend in the coming weeks to include birthday parties, preschool events, baby showers, and the list goes on and on. It also happens that things at work are about as busy as they have ever been and are expected to stay that way for the unforeseeable future. This is the worst possible time for me to be out. Then there is the fact that I have a two-year old. Grayson is no longer in day care, nor is that an option for us right now. He attends preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and he stays with our friend, Bryce, on Mondays. Other than that he is my responsibility during the week days because Justin needs to be at work every day. Additionally I recently committed to keeping two other children on Fridays. Finally there are all the other regular responsibilities of laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and the general management of the household. As I have said before, I have two full time jobs. I run a business full time and I am an almost full time stay at home mom. That is a tough balance always. It seems impossible to face bed rest with all of those responsibilities hanging over me, but that is what is required.

I have already adopted the motto, Don't Panic. One the way home from the doctor, as I was freaking out, a truck cut me off. I was annoyed until I read the bumper sticker. It said, "Don't stress, God's in control". Thanks God! He always knows just what we need to see and hear. The reality is that I am going to have to give up all the events on our calendar. I can't be there. My job right now is to get this baby to at least 34 weeks and that has to be my focus. Everyone will understand that I can't be at their wedding, birthday, shower, gathering, party, etc. The tea party can wait and it may have to wait until next year. Everyone knows that we love our daughters and we can celebrate their birthday here at home as a family if that is all that is possible. As far as work goes, that can be done from home. I have done work on bed rest before and I can do it again. I have some amazing people on my team at work and things there will be fine. Anything that requires my attention at the office can be handled from my house with a little extra planning and different organizing. The home responsibilities? Well, I have an amazing husband, son, family, and group of friends. We will need help, but things will be fine and things will be taken care of.

Most importantly, God is in control. He NEVER gives us anything we can't handle. Yes, I type that because I need that reminder. I have caught myself forgetting that fact a million times today, but it remains the Truth. Yes, prayers would be greatly appreciated. Pray for a healthy baby in 4-10 weeks, things to run smoothly at work and home, and for me to keep my stress level low.

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY GRAY BEAR

It is so hard to believe, even as I type the title, that our little Grayson is two years old today. I love the little person he is growing into and I never could have fathomed how much he would change our lives for the better.

I didn't start blogging until Grayson was several months old. I didn't write his birth story anywhere and as I sit here two years later with another on the way I feel it is important to document the details while I still remember most of them. (TMI alert for anyone who doesn't like birth stories you can skip down to the updates).

A week before Grayson's birth my OB made the recommendation that I be induced due to severe sciatica. I had already dilated 2 cm and I was experiencing some total leg numbness. The concern was that I would fall and really hurt myself. I was very hesitant to schedule the birth of my child and hated the idea of choosing his birthday. I prayed every day that Grayson would come on his own before induction. On the evening of the 21st we made the final preparations at home before I was scheduled to be induced on the 22nd at 6 am. After all the preparing was complete we headed to bed to attempt to get some sleep.

I awoke at 3 am for a not so unusual trip to the bathroom. Only this trip was unusual. I couldn't stop ummmm going. I call to Justin and he replies by saying, "Did your water just break?" He says it sounded different??? Anyway, that is what was happening and I was instantly relieved and thrilled to know that my little guy was ready to arrive. I took my time getting showered, shaved my legs, fixed my hair, and called the doctor. While I was doing that Justin did one last load of laundry and made sure the house was perfect for our baby's arrival home. The doctor instructed us to come in right away. Funny because I was in no hurry. I could barely feel any contractions and didn't even feel like I was in labor other than the amniotic fluid that continued to leak. It rained the entire way to the hospital and at that point I could feel the contractions but they weren't at all severe.

I arrived at the hospital around 5:30. I was dilated to a 3 and my contractions were between 3 and 5 minutes apart, but were not very strong. By 6:30 there was little change and my contractions seemed to be slowing down and easing up, not progressing. My doctor recommended we begin Pitocin. If I knew then what I know now, I would have refused. As another friend put it, that stuff comes straight from the veins of the devil himself. It was awful. My contractions instantly became harder and faster. I was in real pain. Until that point I was really trying to avoid an epidural and wanted to do it all natural. The worst was that they were giving me fluids via IV and I kept having to go to the restroom. I would have a contraction on the way, on the toilet, and on the way back to the bed. It was terrible.

By 9 am the contractions were every two minutes and lasting one full minute. I was in a lot of pain. Then the nurse scared me by saying, "well, if you do decide you want that epidural it will take an hour to get the anesthesiologist here." I asked the nurse to check me and I was 6 cm dilated. I had four more to go. I knew if I had to continue the Pitocin, then I would need an epidural. The pain relief arrived around 10 am. When the anesthesiologist first tried to numb me for the shot, the numbing didn't work. I felt the needle start to go in and almost lost it. He backed up and tried to numb me again. It worked the second time and I was on my way to little pain for the next couple of hours. I took at nap.

At 11:30 I was checked and informed it was time to push. I pushed with just Justin and the nurse for an hour. After about 30 minutes Grayson's heart rate began to drop each time I pushed. The nurse decided I should take a break and give the baby a break from the pushing. Honestly, it was 12:30 and I think they went to lunch. I took another nap.

At 1:30/1:45 the nurse returned and I got back to the business of pushing. After about 30 minutes of pushing the doctor arrived and we were ready to meet our baby. After some slight tearing and an episiotomy Grayson arrived. I will never forget looking a that messy little baby and the look on Justin's face when he met our son for the first time. It was amazing. Born at 2:19 pm, Grayson weighed 6lbs, 8 ozs and was 20.5 inches long. He was perfect in every way.

We had about 35 visitors at the hospital that night. It was exhausting, but the whole family was ready to meet the newest addition. Grayson was so handsome and won them over right away.

Now two years later he is so different, but just as lovable. He loves Elmo, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, art, trains, big trucks, and any sports. Everyone comments about how athletic he is and I must say that I don't know a more coordinated two year old nor do I know one that can trow a ball as far. For such a little guy he has a mean arm. He is still in the less than 3rd percentile on the growth charts and only wears size 12 or 18 month clothing. He has been in a growth spurt lately so maybe he will move up on the chart. He continues to do well with potty training and sleeping in his big boy bed. We often get comments in public about how well behaved he is. His best friends are Dawson (from preschool), Rin, Abe, Lexie, Caleb (all from church), and his cousins Peyton and Jackson. He still loves his bath time and also enjoys time in his sandbox. He calls all of his grandmas "nana" and all of his grandpas "papa". He is also rather fond of his Godparents Brain and Jodie and calls their parents "nana" and "papa" too. Grayson doesn't like. . .well there isn't a whole lot he doesn't like. He is a really agreeable kid. He has his moments, but he responds well to redirection and is very respectful and polite. He often goes to work with me and is a real charmer with all the ladies there.

Grayson is also really funny these days. He has lots of cute phrases and is talking so much. When he makes a mistake or hurts himself he says, "uh-oh me". When he is excited with himself he exclaims, "I did it!". He loves to tell us about what he does at school with his teachers "Dom" (Ms Dawn) and "Dah-tah" (Ms Agata)and tells us all about his coloring, cutting, and painting. He finds it funny when we make mistakes and will talk about it for the rest of the day starting with "Mommy or Daddy uh-oh and then a long string of jibberish talking all about what we dropped or the mess we made. He loves to pray before each meal, before bed, and several times throughout the day. He often suggests things we should pray about and people we should pray for. He regularly asks to pray for Peyton and to thank God for boats and our house. He is very thankful for our house and each time we pull into the driveway he exclaims "Oh Home!!!!" Each morning he checks himself out in the mirror after he is dressed to make sure he looks good. He also likes to look at himself in pictures. When you take a picture of him he will say "me see, me see". When you show him the picture he will say, "Awwwwwww" very pleased with the picture of himself.

Boy has it been an amazing two years. God has brought such an amazing blessing to our lives through Grayson. I can't imagine life without him. I am sure he will continue to amaze, challenge, bless, and strengthen our family as he grows up. We are still early in the journey but it sure does seem to be flying by. Happy Birthday Little Gray Bear. Mommy and Daddy love you very much!

WE'RE BAAAAACK!

Well we have made it back from our family vacation in San Diego. Grayson was a wonderful traveler (zero tears on all the flights), the wedding was BEAUTIFUL, and we all had a blast. I will do an entire post about our trip complete with pics soon. Thinking positively I will get it done this weekend. We arrived Wednesday night around 8:30 and have hit the ground running. We have a very busy couple of months ahead.

First item on the agenda once returning was to see my OB. Remember, he was unhappy about my travel plans. Turns out that at my appointment yesterday I only measured a 3 (remember 3-5 is good). That is the lowest I have measured and as it turns out I was having some contractions while at his office. He said he does not do hospital until 1.7 and will not do bed rest until 2.5, but I am on "rest" for the next four weeks. That basically means take it easy, no heavy lifting, no stress, as much relaxing as possible, no strenuous physical activity, etc. Easy for him to say! He hasn't seen my calendar. At any rate, he is right and a baby at 34 weeks will be much healthier than a baby now at 29. So I will do my best to follow the orders. He did hint at some indication that he will not be surprised if I do not go full term and to be prepared for that. We should have our baby in 7-11 weeks. I think Dr. B is thinking more like 4-8 weeks. That's wonderful considering we have NOTHING ready and an insanely busy schedule for the next two months. I guess we just turn it over to God. All things happen in His time, not ours, and His timing is perfect. Now all I need is a little prayer to get me through these four weeks of "rest" with a birthday party to plan, NC State convention next week, a tea party to plan, a wedding to attend, and a million other family events. WHEW!!!!

BEST FRIENDS

Yes, I should be packing and getting things ready to go, but I have something that I must share. No, it is not the Easter pics. I may not get those up until after the trip.

I have blogged about our new childcare arrangements. Well, I think it is safe to say that Grayson and Rin are enjoying their time together. They went on a walk Monday and this shot was captured by Bryce.



That does my heart good. I hope it does the same for some of you. There is nothing more precious than watching a friendship grow from such and early age.

JUST CRAZY

We have so much going on. The last thing I need to do is be posting on the blog, but I can't let all 9 of my readers down. That would just be disgraceful.

We are so busy because our vacation to San Diego is VERY quickly approaching. Too quick. I have a ton to do between now and departure time. There is so much to be done. In addition, it is Grayson's first time on an airplane so I am trying to make sure we have EVERYTHING we need for the long flight.

For those who don't know. We are traveling to CA for my cousin, Angela's, wedding. I am super excited. Not only do we get to spend a week in San Diego, but we are traveling with some of my dad's side of the family, which will be a ton of fun. Also I get to spend time with my cousins whom I NEVER get to see. So excited, so stressed!!!

Other than that, there is a ton I could blog about but I just really don't have a lot of time. Our Easter was wonderful. I will try to get some pics downloaded and posted before we leave, but I am not making any promises.

Some have asked about my last post (the one just before this one) and the mom I know who is on bed rest due to premature rupture of membranes at 16 weeks. I will update since I am sure she appreciates all the extra prayers and would want all you prayer warriors to know how to pray for her and her family. She and her baby boy are hanging in there. She has been on bed rest for a little over a week. Every day is a milestone. She has been to the doctor and the baby has a strong heartbeat. She is exhibiting no signs of labor at this time, which is great. Keep the prayers coming. She has also started blogging so that others can follow her journey.

Fostering. . .we are STILL waiting to hear from Human Services about our next step. I am trying not to call again because I know that the woman in charge of our process is really busy and stretched thin. I also don't want her to think we aren't committed because I am not calling. She has already questioned our level of commitment with our own baby on the way. I don't know how to stress, WE ARE IN THIS ALL THE WAY. It isn't up to us how our family is built. That is all in God's plan. He knows the exact child or children who will come into our home and when, whether that be right after our baby arrives or a year after our baby arrives. That isn't for us to decide, so we will move forward (well if we can get HS on board with that plan). Yes, it can be very frustrating.

Also, I have some new readers and I want to make sure everyone knows that all of my old posts have not been moved to this site yet. Prior to December of 2009 I did our blogging at www.littlegraybear.aboutmybaby.com. My plan is to move all of those old posts over to this site, but that is going to take some time. If you are a new reader and curious about things like how we decided to foster, who Faith and Avery are, what Grayson was like as a baby, or anything else about us that might be buried in those old posts just head over to that other site because I just don't know how quick I will be about getting them moved. Remember, I am even too busy to be posting right now. This turned into an awfully long post for someone with so much to do!