BAYLOR-1 MONTH

I can't even believe it is already time to write this post. The last month has been a blur. It seems like Baylor should still be days old, not a whole month. We are gradually adjusting to life with the newest member of our family. Thanks to all the wonderful ladies who sent me schedule recommendations and offers of advice. It was really interesting to see how different all the schedules and routines are. I have been able to take bits and pieces from all of them and I am hoping to get into a good new routine by next Monday. That is my goal. Additionally, I have been taking iron supplements for the last couple of days (I have a history of Anemia) and that seems to be helping with the exhaustion and headaches.

Back to Baylor. . .(I promise to go in and add pics to this post tomorrow, it is late and I am too tired to download them). This little darling continues to be a real treat. He is starting to settle into an eating and sleeping routine. Baylor sleeps a lot more during the day than I remember Grayson sleeping at 1 month, but as long as he is sleeping at night I am fine with his daytime sleeping habits. Baylor has dropped his 1 am feeding two out of the last 3 nights so I know he is on the verge of dropping that feeding permanently, which makes me very happy.

During the day, when he isn't snoozing, Baylor likes to watch everyone else in the family and likes to be part of the action. I have started carrying him around in my Chicco carrier in the afternoons because he likes to be able to look around at all the busy goings on of the afternoons in our house. He does not like to be left alone during his awake time. If it gets too quite while he is on his play mat or on his tummy he becomes very unhappy. He likes action and he loves to be entertained by his big brother.

Baylor has given some accidental grins, but isn't smiling consistently yet. When he grins he seems to have dimples. We will see if those dimples stick around when the real smiles come.

Baylor is still having a little trouble while eating and his pediatrician has recommended we see a feeding therapist (funny to me because that is what I do) and have a swallow study. Initially Baylor had lots of milk coming out of his nose while nursing and seemed to be having a hard time coordinating his suck, swallow, breathe pattern. The pediatrician made her recommendation and I decided to give it a couple of weeks to see what I could try using my own expertise. I was able to remedy most of his issues, but I will still make the appointments to be certain he is doing okay and there aren't any other issues going on that aren't as glaring.

We also had Baylor's newborn pictures done. You can view them at www.mycreativeclicks.com. Once you get to the gallery you will see Baylor's folder. The password is Caldwell.

Happy One-Month Birthday little Bay Bear. You have been an amazing addition to our family and we all love you so very much. We really look forward to all the joy you will bring as you continue to grow over the coming months.

FAMILY FUN & SOME MOM QUESTIONS

As we wind down from our weekend and try to gear up for next week I finally have a minute to get some blogging in. The weekend just flies by and I spend most of it trying to catch up on the rest I don't get during the week. More on that later in this post.

I don't have to tell most of you that it has been BLAZING around here lately. If you are a reader and don't know us IRL, just know that we live in the Southeast and the heat index today is 112. It has been about 100 every day for a full week and the humidity is unbearable. Any usual outdoor summer activities (parks, pools, spray grounds, etc.)are out of the question in this heat.

During the week we stay super busy and Justin doesn't get to spend a lot of time with the boys. On Saturdays (even with tons of laundry, yard work, house cleaning, etc.)to do, I feel like we should do at least one fun family activity. This Saturday we decided to try a movie. Grayson had never been to the movies, but has been enjoying an occasional movie at home lately. He doesn't make it all the way through the movies we watch at home, but we thought the novelty of the theatre might keep his interest longer. Baylor is still pretty much eating and sleeping so we figured he would probably being doing one of the two during the movie.

It was a blast. We went to Toy Story 3 and Grayson was in awe. He loved the giant screen and loudness of it all. We sat him in his own seat between us and let him hold the popcorn. Well, we sat the giant tub between his legs. He just sat there happy as a little clam munching away and grinning from ear to ear. At any particularly exciting part he occasionally let out a gasp or a "wow". It was adorable to watch him take it all in. Baylor did just perfectly and even woke up for a bit and watched about 30 minutes of the movie. So, our first trip to the movie was a success. So much that when he woke up this morning he asked to go the the movies again today.

Now here I sit on Sunday afternoon and have a ton left on my weekend to-do list that isn't going to get done. I wouldn't trade our movie time for the world, but I feel like I am falling further and further behind on all of my responsibilities. That leads me to my "mom questions" part of this post. Adding a second little one to our family has been an easy transition in most ways, but has been a tough adjustment when it comes to my time management. I constantly feel like there aren't enough hours in the day and with any extra time I have I feel too tired to really get anything done.

So moms, I know there are several of you who read fairly regularly and most of you have two or more kids. Some of you home school, some work outside the home, and some are home engineers with kids the same age as mine. I am curious to know what your daily schedule looks like. When do you get up and start your day? When do you go to bed at night? When do you have time to yourself? When do you have quiet time with God? When do you exercise? When do you pay the bills, do the laundry, and get shopping done? How do you make time to really enjoy your kids? When do you spend time with your husband? Although I know the getting up during the night stage will not last forever, I need to know how to survive it now that I can't nap when baby naps. This time around I have another little guy around. I am EXHAUSTED to the point that I have headaches and blurred vision by the afternoons. I am useless after dinner. I can't do anything but crash. I want to know how you all do it even those whose responsibilities are a little different from mine. I don't care if you have two kids or six. It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home mom or a full-time career mom. I want to know what your day looks like. I have got to figure this out. Between work, home, wife, mom, and me responsibilities I am drowning.

You can leave your daily routine and any tips in my comments section or e-mail me at nicole (dot.) caldwell (at@) southeastfamilyservces (dot.) com. Thanks ladies!!!

GLIMPSES OF UNCERTAINTY

On Thursday, despite the fact that I was still feeling pretty rough, I took Grayson up to the mall by our house to play on the indoor playground. We typically do lots of fun activities in the summer, but with the heat and a new baby our options have been really limited. I feel guilty not getting him out to do things so on Thursday we ventured out.

Grayson has always been pretty careful. He is definitely all boy, but there are times where he really exercises caution and I am very thankful for that. When we arrived at the playground I noticed that there were some older children there. Historically Grayson plays best with children his age or a little younger. He is always a little hesitant around older children. The only exception to this is my friend, Cindy's, kids. He is fairly comfortable around them, but I think that is because they have been having play time together since Grayson was born. It also helps that Cindy's oldest son is really good with Grayson and seems to understand that Grayson needs some time to warm up each time they play together.

Actually saying he is hesitant around older children really doesn't describe him well. He is often reluctant to play in a situation where there are a lot of older children. So at the mall I knew he might be nervous. I found a spot to sit and park our sleeping baby and encouraged Grayson to go play. He said, very politely, "No thank you" and decided he wanted to sit in my lap. We watched the other children play for about 10 minutes. Grayson finally decided to join the chaos. He got down and proceeded very cautiously to an area where there were only a couple of children. Anytime anyone even looked as though they might approach him, he quickly walked away to find somewhere else to play. After about 5 minutes of this he decided he was ready to get in the mix a little. He went over to the slide (the most crowded area) and began to climb up. He continued to be very cautious and looked back at me every single step of the way. He would look back and as soon as I would give him a smile he would continue on. If a much older child got too close, he would retreat a few steps, wait for that child to move on, and then he would continue on. More quickly than I expected Grayson decided he was ready to go home.

Part of this uncertainty and hesitation has always been a characteristic of our oldest son. Days like Thursday get me all teary over my very tender-hearted and sweet oldest child. He is very social, but has his comfort zone. He is very adventurous, but has his boundaries. He is very able, but almost always uses caution. Additionally, he constantly looks to Justin or myself for that smile or nod of confirmation that what he is doing is okay. Thursday I initially caught myself wanting to just push him out there to play, but then it hit me. This is exactly what you want for your child. This is what you are hoping to instill in him. He should be cautious. He should check out things before diving in. He should seek the counsel and advice of his parents or another wise mentor. It is wonderful he seeks to please us because that prepares his heart to be taught about pleasing his Heavenly Father through his actions. That is when I got all teary. I pray that we get this right. God has given us a very prepared heart and I pray we shepherd it well. He will not always be looking back at me for that approval and I hate to think of the day that those glances back to me begin to decrease because I am a mom and that is the way my heart works. However, as a parent under God's calling I can only pray and work to make sure that when those glances for approval aren't back to me that they are to God.

WE WERE WELL ON OUR WAY

Yep, we were well on our way to routine. "Were" is the keyword in that sentence and my title. Baylor has been sleeping well. My recovery has been incredibly easier in comparison to the "regular delivery" recovery I experienced with Grayson. Baylor is nursing every 3 hours like clockwork and is pretty happy unless he has a dirty diaper. I went into the office on Monday with Baylor is tow and that went well. I am gradually working my way through the mass of e-mails and messages I received over the last two weeks. Grayson has adjusted well. Preschool started back on Monday after a week break and Justin is on his second week of work since being out for a week following Baylor's birth.

Yep, we were well on our way to a normal routine that was both productive and comfortable after feeling like our world has been in complete unheaval since I was put on bed rest at the end of April. I have been craving that normal routine in a bad way since April. Don't get me wrong, the upheaval was well worth it since it was required to get little Baylor here as healthy as possible. However, I do much better and feel like a much more productive person with a regular, normal routine.

We were well on our way to comfortable and normal with our newest addition falling right into the routine with us. That is, until yesterday. Yesterday we had a very busy morning. First, we had Baylor's two week check-up followed by Baylor's scheduled feeding in the car after the appointment (a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do). In addition to having to be at an appointment by 9:30 with both kids, Justin had a 7:30 meeting so I was on my own for the morning routine. Needless to say I was impressed with myself when we arrived at the 9:30 appointment 10 minutes early. After Baylor finished his meal time in the car we headed to Justin's office. Grayson loves to see the "girls" there and color with them and Justin wanted to introduce Baylor to everyone. After a little "show and tell" we went out for a family lunch at a place near Justin's office. After lunch we dropped Justin off at work and headed over to my office. It was almost time for Baylor to eat again, I had a few things to take care of, and Grayson has some big brother presents waiting for him there. We left my office around 2:00 to journey home for Grayson, Baylor, and maybe even Mommy to get afternoon naps. When we were leaving my office I began to feel really tired. I didn't think much of it and assumed my at home to-do list may just have to wait until I could get a quick power nap in.

When we got home Grayson went right to sleep and Baylor wasn't far behind. I was feeling a little chilly so I bumped up the thermostat a few degrees. That should have been the first signal that something was REALLY wrong. I attempted to get cozy on the couch for a quick nap. Instantly, and when I say instantly I mean all of a sudden with little warning, my whole body starts to ache and I am freezing. I convince myself I am just tired and I need to relax and try to fall asleep. After about 10 minutes I begin shaking uncontrolably, I develop a pounding headache, and I feel like I am going to vomit at any minute. After another 10 minutes of trying to convince myself that I was just really tired, I realize something is wrong. Then panic sets in. I decide immediately I must have some sort of crazy infection from the c-section and that I am surely going to die. Dramatic I know, but I was very scared. I try to get up to get some Tylenol and I can't sit up let alone stand. I quickly realize that I have two children sleeping and if either of them were to wake up, I couldn't get to them. Fortunately, my phone was within reach. I call Justin and ask him to come home. At that point I was shaking so badly that I could barely speak. I hated calling him to leave work (you know me and how I am about asking for help), but I felt like the situation was getting bad fast.

It took Justin about 20 minutes to get home. Grayson woke up about five minutes before he arrived. It was torture to hear him calling me from his room and to be unable to get to him. Justin called my doctor on the way home and handed me the phone when he walked in the door. The nurse instructed me to take my temperature. It was 99.8. My normal is 97.6 so 99.8 is a little bit of a fever for me. The nurse called the doctor and the doctor said to take Tylenol and go to the hospital if the symptoms get worse. Otherwise I was scheduled for 10 am the following morning (today). My biggest fear was vomiting since my incision still hurts when I cough or sneeze. After 3 or 4 Tylenol and laying on a heating pad for about 2 hours, the fever broke and the chills went away. The headache is still around, but is no where near as severe and the nausea subsided after I was able to drink a milkshake around 8:30 (don't ask me why the only thing I could stomach was a milkshake).

This morning after preschool drop-off Justin drove me to the doctor. Turns out that I have mastitis. It is an infection related to nursing. I will not provide any more details since some of you are already wishing I had given a TMI notice before this. It isn't a huge deal and will not interfere with my abiliy to continue nursing. I actually had it with Grayson as well, but it was no where near as severe or as sudden.

So, we are back out of routine. Justin was home yesterday afternoon and all day today. Mainly to care for the boys since I am still pretty weak and useless. I hate being out of comission. It doesn't fit with my personality.

An additional update, Baylor's appointment went relatively well. I say relatively because our initial concern going into this appointment was weight gain since he lost weight between his first and second appointments. At this appointment he had gained 10 ounces (in one week) and is up to 7 pounds, 10 ounces. I talked with the doctor about the fact that milk often comes out of his nose when he is nursing. As an SLP who has some experience with feeding issues, I knew this wasn't normal. I had already checked for a cleft in his palate and the doctor seemed to think that looked fine as well. Her suggestion, a swallow study. I knew in the back of my mind that would probably be the recommendation, but the reality of hearing that kind of made me feel sick. I have done swallow studies on babies. They are not fun for the baby or the mom. Additionally, the idea that my little fella may be having some trouble scares the life out of me. It shouldn't. I would be very familiar with all the ways to address the issues, but it is different when you are dealing with your own baby instead of working with another family and another child. When you are treating, it is your job. When it is your baby, it is scary. We are praying that the swallow study looks fine and Baylor stops being so dramatic while he is eating. I will post once the study is scheduled so that you all can pray for us on that day.

ONE WEEK

Baylor was one week old yesterday. I put off posting until today because he didn't have his one week check-up until today. It has been a fast and eventful week to say the least. I can't believe our little guy has been here with us for a week already.
Obviously part of the week went by quickly while we were in the hospital. Those days just run all together anyway. It doesn't matter day or night time just ticks by with the seemingly constant poking and prodding of the nurses. We had some pretty great nurses in the hospital and one not-so-great nurse who refused to give me pain medicine and kept insisting my abdominal pain was gas and I just needed to "get up and walk around". WHAT?!?!? Gas, really? I am pretty sure I just had a baby removed through a big gash in my stomach and now have 18 staples holding that gash closed. The pain I was feeling most certainly wasn't related to that. No, it had to be gas. Whatever lady!
Baylor did great in the hospital and continues to do well at home. So far he is very mild tempered, just like his older brother. He doesn't cry unless he has a dirty diaper and occasionally when it is time to eat. He is already on a wonderful schedule where he eats every 3 hours and gets up during the night every 3-4 hours. During the day he stays awake to play after his feedings and then takes about a two hour nap before he next feeding. At night he goes right back to sleep after he eats. So far he has been a very easy baby. The only issues we have had so far is that he was borderline jaundiced and we had to get his billirubin (not sure about the spelling there) levels checked several times. The regular eating and pooping kept the levels below needing intervention. He eats regularly but he doesn't like to eat a lot so he actually lost weight between his weight check on Sunday and today. Only 6 ounces but he did loose. I am going to work a little harder to get him to eat longer at each feeding and see if we can't remedy that.
He and Grayson are the same in some ways and different in some. He seems to be laid back like Grayson was and just as content. Grayson always pooped out of his diapers. Baylor keeps the poop in, but is like Houdini when it comes to getting the pee out. We change his outfit at least four times per day. Grayson never liked to sleep on his back and couldn't sleep more than 5 minutes that way. Baylor seems very content sleeping on his back. Grayson didn't get a pacifier until he was 2 weeks old and even then didn't really use it that much. Baylor has had a pacifier since day two in the hospital because he constantly wants to have something in his mouth. So although they look a lot alike and are equally easy babies (so far at least) they are also very different.
Grayson has been wonderful with Baylor. He is very helpful and just LOVES his baby brother. Even though everyone else calls him "Baylor", Grayson still calls him "baby brother" which, I think is just adorable. Grayson gets in the crib at night to say bedtime prayers with baby brother, he helps give him his bath, and he sits on the changing table every chance he gets for diaper changes and wardrobe changes. Today Grayson left (for the first time since Baylor was born) to stay the night with his Nanny and Grandpa. This morning I explained to Grayson that they were coming to visit and that he could go home with them for the night if he wanted. He asked if baby brother could go and I explained that brother had to stay here with mommy. Grayson responded "I stay here". So cute that he didn't want to go away without his brother. Now that all changed when Nanny and Grandpa got here. He was very quickly persuaded to go to their house. Which, by the way, it feels super strange not to have both of my boys here. I have enjoyed the opportunity to get some extra rest, but I can't wait for my little boy to get back tomorrow.
Speaking of rest, we have had some amazing help the last week. My dad, Sue, and Brooke were here with Grayson while we were in the hospital. We had one night here just as a family and then my mom came for the weekend. Justin's mom and Jack were here helping on Monday and Tuesday and my dad and Sue were here again today for part of the day to help me get Baylor to his doctor's appointment. We have been so blessed!

BAYLOR'S BIRTHDAY

Although he has been a part of our family much longer, Baylor has only officially been in the family for 3 days. Already I can't imagine our family without him. God has blessed us with such an amazing gift in our newest son.

On Tuesday, June 29th, Justin and I left for the hospital around 9:30 am after a very restless night and an early morning full of baking because I just couldn't sleep any longer. Well, that and I wanted to leave treats for Nanny, Papa, Peyton, and Aunt B. They have all helped by moving in with Grayson while Mommy, Daddy, and Baylor have been living at the hospital. We had a couple of errands to run so we finally arrived at the hospital around 10:15. Let me just go ahead and state, for the record, that at 10:15 I was already so hungry I could have eaten my arm and so thirsty I would have drank up the ocean. I just don't get no food or liquids after midnight for a 1:30 pm procedure!

Upon arrival we did the whole check-in process and were then parked in our Labor and Delivery room (Room 7). I liked our nurse, Cheryl, right away. We spent the first hour and a half monitoring the baby, drawing blood for labs, getting my IV started, answering lots of surveys, filling out paperwork, doing the anesthesia prep, and getting my IV started. I must add here that I was having some mildly intense regular contractions while on the monitor, which helped me feel like Baylor was ready to be born. We had a birth plan, but were very unsure of what to expect since my last three deliverys were not by c-section. Cheryl was very patient in answering all of my questions and provided us with valid explanations for all of the things that were not going to go the way we were hoping (i.e. being able to try breastfeeding immediately).

At 12:20 we began our walk to the Operating Romm (OR). Once we arrived Justin was instructed to get his OR attire on outside the door and wait there for instructions to come in. The hubby is not allowed in until after the spinal has been given in case they were to pass out seeing a long needle go into their wife's spine. They took me inside. It was FREEZING in there. I mean seriously freezing. They had to bring me warming blankets right away because I began shaking like a maniac and couldn't stop. Shaking like a maniac doesn't work well for having a long needle stuck into your spine. After getting everything set up we waited for Dr. Brannon.

Dr. B arrived with a bang busting in the door with an ultrasound machine. He wanted to be certain Baylor was still breech before he cut me open. As soon as he put the jellied wand on the top of my belly all you could see was a big round head. So, we were ready to get started. The needle guy got ready and I was prepped for my spinal. Let me say that I was very nervous about the spinal. When I got the epidural for Grayson the numbing stuff didn't start working as quickly as it does for most people and when he first tried to stick the needle in, I felt it! It was terrible and I was so fearful that would happen again. Not only that, but it was the same needle guy that did my epidural with Grayson. Lots of wasted fear because although the pressure was miserable, I felt no pain with the Spinal going in and before I knew it I was laying on the table and numb from my underarms down.

The nurses instructed Justin to come back in the room and take his place seated on a stool by my head. As Dr. B returned to the OR he says, "Hey Justin! Stand up and watch this." I guess all he needed was an invitation because Justin stood up and watched the entire event on the other side of the curtain. I could not see the doctor. I could only see Justin and the big blue curtain. The anesthesiology tech talked me through every step of the procedure so I would know what was going on. I could feel lots of pulling an tugging and after about 20 minutes I heard the doctor say "boy" and then I heard the cries of my little Baylor. Those first cries are such a wonderful sound. Baylor was born (pulled out by the doctor) at 1:19 pm, weighed exactly 7 lbs, and measured 19 3/4 inches long.

For about 15 minutes I could hear Baylor and I was kept in the loop by Justin who was with him as they cleaned him and did all the baby care stuff they do in the OR. I could not, however, see Baylor. That was very hard for me. I just wanted to lay eyes on him and see that he ws really here, but I was stuck still on the other side of the big blue curtain unable to see anything. Finally, they let Justin bring him over to me. I could not hold him or really even get a good look at him upside down, but I did get to at least see that living, breathing, wide awake, bundle of baby. My heart melted!!! He was so alert. All the nurses kept talking about his wide open eyes and beautiful lips. From those comments I knew he would look a little like his brother. Dr. B finished the work on me and declared that there is nothing wrong with my uterus (something he has wondered since my difficulty carrying the twins) and that if I desire and the baby is head down, I can do a vaginal deliveries from here on out.

The next hour was the longest ever. They took Baylor off (remember I still have held him or even looked at him upright) to the nursery and I was sent off to recovery in my Labor and Delivery Room. Justin went with Baylor so that he could take pictures and so that Baylor would not be without one of us while he was poked and inspected. Finally around 2:30 or 3:00 my little baby was finally placed in my arms. It was too long to wait, but it was definitely love at first sight when he finally arrived. He nursed right away and did very well.

Once I was declared recovered enough we were moved to our permanent room in the Women's Pavilion (23). We got settled there and shortly after Grayson arrived to meet his baby brother. It has been a blur ever since. Hospital stays are like that. Between the drugs, the all night check-ins, and the visitors during the day, I stay completely drained.

Baylor continues to do well. There was some thought he may be jaundiced, but the test came back within normal limits this morning. He is breastfeeding well and has only lost about 4 ounces of weight since Tuesday. We should be able to go home later this morning. I can't wait to get home to where the four of us can be together and start getting adjusted to our new family.