ON THE VERGE

I am having one of those days. It often happens on Sundays, just before the start of a new week. I sit down and look at the calendar and begin to feel so very overwhelmed. There is so much to be done and I just wish the weekend could last a little longer. The next several weeks are particularly insane and right now my chest feels like I have a 50 pound weight sitting on it.

In 8 days Grayson will be five. I can't believe I am about to have a five-year old. Thinking about that gets me all teary and choked up. I also can't believe all that I need to get done before his two (one for family and one for his preschool friends) parties. Thank goodness we aren't doing a giant party this year inviting everyone we know. Boy then I would be a mess.

On top of that we have a million appointments (dentist, doctor, hair cuts), soccer, t-ball, church activities, and school activities going on. It just all seems to be showing up on the calendar at once. We have a big auction event at the preschool, a family day at my dad's company, and a walk for a local pregnancy center in the coming weekends. To top it all off, we leave for a week at Disney in less than a month.

The next weeks will fly by. Before I know it all of these events will be over, I will have a five-year old, and we will be in Disney recovery mode. I know it will go by in a blink. I think that is where my stress comes from. Does that even make sense??? I know that I will get everything done. Come what may, I WILL get everything done. That is just what we do. However, I also want to enjoy every minute. I hate that I often get in "just get it all taken care of" mode and feel like I miss out on the joy of the moments.

I can't be the only person who feels this way. Am I crazy for stressing over not enjoying it all enough? I get in this state where I feel like I am on the verge of it all going awry at any moment and I just miss the joy of the moments.

Here is what I realize as I am mulling over this insane cycle I get in, this cycle where I start to panic on a Sunday evening about the business of the coming week(s). I have to give it all up. Not in the sense of throwing in the towel. I have to give it up to the Lord. I am not in control, He is. I can't do any of this without Him. I am freaking for no reason. He does care about even the smallest details of our lives because He cares about me.

Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Matthew 7:9-11 says “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”.

So, I will take comfort. I will give it all up to Him. I will ask for the strength, stamina, and persistence to get it all done. I will also ask that I am able to soak it all in and enjoy every moment and I know He will provide for all of that. With that peace I can easily face tomorrow and the next several weeks.