TWO YEARS

Faith and Avery are two years old today and they are celebrating in heaven instead of here with us. In some respects this day has gotten easier and in some ways it is so much harder with each passing year. Easier because time heals everything to an extent. Easier because today is a birthday it isn't the day we said good-bye two years ago. Easier because we aren't still sitting in the hospital in disbelief. We have accepted and done our best to move forward.

But it is harder in so many ways. Its harder because we don't have little toddler girls running around our house and I think about that every day. Harder because twins are everywhere and I am sure I have seen at least a dozen today. Harder because with each passing year what we thought would be is further and further away.

God did a lot of good things in our life through the loss of our daughters. That I will never deny. I also know better than to question His most perfect plan. BUT today I am allowed to just be a bit angry, a lot sad, and a mom who did the one thing no mother should never have to do. I am a mom who held her daughters as life left their little bodies two years ago today and that is just hard.