IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

I got this question just yesterday. It was asked out of genuine concern. I know that because of who asked the question and because of what that person said next. My response was, "Ummmm yeah, why?" It also came with an obvious look of confusion. To which my concerned friend said, "When I saw you yesterday you looked like you had a lot on your mind." She was spot on. I gave a brief response of, "Yeah, it's the holidays. I am swamped and really behind." My answer was half true and all that could be given with a brief passing in the hall. However, there is so much more to it.

The exchange stayed on my mind the rest of the day. During my quiet moments with the Lord I spent some time searching my own heart. I knew I felt overwhelmed and I disliked that it was showing to others around me. The truth is that I have been insanely distracted. I am lost in my thoughts every day. It isn't in a good way.

It started just before Thanksgiving. As quickly as the decorations showed up all over every store in the world, Christmas was thrust into the forefront of my thoughts. The Christmas season was quickly approaching. That is where the mess began. I get stressed, really stressed during this time of year. I have an insane amount of shopping to do, Christmas programs to attend, cookies to bake, candies to make, special memories to create, holiday parties to attend, decorating to do, gifts to give, and the list goes on and on. Oh and who can forget the ELF!!! I have to remember to move this guy to a new place every day! All the while I have all of my regular responsibilities of work, home, homeschooling, church, sports etc. It all gets really overwhelming. I was determined for this year to be different. This time of year is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of our Savior and who has time to focus on that with all the stresses.

We decided to scale back on the gift buying and in exchange do some good for others. We cut out Christmas cards. We cut out the gingerbread house decorating night. I am baking less. With the best of intentions we cut down on the demands of time and energy to create more opportunities to focus on the real meaning of this season. I wanted to find some peace in the madness and be certain we made time with our children to focus on the birth of Christ and for them to get to spend the month of December with a mom who is showing them the love of Christ not the stress that the world creates for us this time of year.

Then it happened. Guilt showed up. Are they going to miss the gingerbread house? What if I don't bake their favorite cookies? What if friends are offended that we didn't send them a Christmas card? Should I be taking them out caroling. I think I went caroling at this age! Look at the cute homemade gifts that friend is handing out! I am a failure if I don't do the same. Are the teacher's going to feel like we don't appreciate them enough if I don't spend a fortune AND make something cute? Will the boys be disappointed with the gifts they are getting? Is it enough (yes, it shames me to even type that out)? For the past two weeks I have been consumed with the guilt and stress that this inner dialog has brought. In my heart of hearts I know that it comes straight from the enemy. Once again I am allowing this fallen world with its idols and misplaced priorities to steal my joy.

When this friend asked a simple question, "Is everything okay?" it was my wake-up call. I knew that I had allowed the enemy to win and that my thoughts and actions were not glorifying to the Savior that this season is supposed to celebrate. I did some study and stumbled upon John 15:1-11

1 [Then Jesus said,] "I am the true vine, and my Father takes care of the vineyard. 2 He removes every one of my branches that doesn't produce fruit. He also prunes every branch that does produce fruit to make it produce more fruit. 3 "You are already clean because of what I have told you. 4 Live in me, and I will live in you. A branch cannot produce any fruit by itself. It has to stay attached to the vine. In the same way, you cannot produce fruit unless you live in me. 5 "I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who live in me while I live in them will produce a lot of fruit. But you can't produce anything without me. 6 Whoever doesn't live in me is thrown away like a branch and dries up. Branches like this are gathered, thrown into a fire, and burned. 7 If you live in me and what I say lives in you, then ask for anything you want, and it will be yours. 8 You give glory to my Father when you produce a lot of fruit and therefore show that you are my disciples. 9 "I have loved you the same way the Father has loved me. So live in my love. 10 If you obey my commandments, you will live in my love. I have obeyed my Father's commandments, and in that way I live in his love. 11 I have told you this so that you will be as joyful as I am, and your joy will be complete.

WOW! Jesus literally wants to take the joy that He has and place it in you. He has all the joy we need. I know that this holiday season is overwhelming for most of us moms. It is so easy to get caught up in it all and to let the pressure get the best of us. We are the worst at comparing ourselves to others and believe the lie that all that we do isnt' enough. This season is meant to be a time of joy, peace, and celebration of the birth of our savior. Our primary focus should be the joy that is found in Him. We don't need any of that worldy stuff to find joy. He has all the joy we need. Sure the other stuff is fun and we will continue to participate in lots of fun holiday traditions, but I resuse to allow it to take away my joy. I will not sacrifice the peace I can only find in him by focusing only on the worldly ideals of this holiday season. I will probably have to revisit this verse a thousand times per day for the next two weeks. The bottom line is this. The joy found in my Savior is more than enough and more than anything else I want to share that with those around me (especially my children) this Christmas season. I pray you have many moments to do the same.