ANNIVERSARY- HE COMES SECOND

Today is our anniversary. Eight years ago today Justin and I were married in the tiny country church that I grew up in. It was all decorated for Christmas. I always knew I wanted to get married in that church during December. It is one of the most beautiful places ever during the Christmas season.

Eight years later we are still trucking along. We have been through more than I imagined we would in such a short time. We have loved one another unconditionally through job loss, promotions, the close of a business, the birth of 5 children, the burial of two of those sweet babes, success, and disappointment. We have truly loved in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, and all while forsaking all others.

I could go on and on about our life and what our marriage journey has been like, but I wanted to write about something else that has been on my heart about marriage in general. I look around me and I see friends, acquaintances, and people in general doing one major thing wrong that will potentially destroy their marriage in the long or short term. That one thing is knowing how to prioritize their spouse. I see people who put their spouse on a pedestal and essentially worship them. I see people who don't value their spouse at all and instead put themselves or others (parents, friends, possessions, etc) on a pedestal. I also see, and probably see this most often, people putting their children on that pedestal as the very most important thing in their life. Don't get me wrong. I would give my life for my children. In fact, I would give my life for my children or my husband. I love them all dearly. They are all very important to me, but there is a very specific way that we are called by God to prioritize our relationships and I firmly believe that following His guidelines is a must if you want to have a happy and successful marriage.

The Bible lays out a clear order for family relationship priorities. No, there isn't a check list or exact directions found all in one place for every relationship. However, we can still look to the Scriptures and find the directives for prioritizing our family relationships.

God obviously comes first: Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” All of one’s heart, soul, and strength is to be committed to loving God, making Him the first priority. You heard me right. That doesn't say husband, children, shopping, money, parents, or anything else. LOVE YOUR GOD will ALL.

Your spouse comes next. Ephesians 5:25 states, "A married man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church". Christ’s first priority, after obeying and loving the Father, was the church. "In the same way, wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22). The principle is that a spouse is second only to God in your priorities and before anything else. So first God and then your spouse. There are no exceptions.

If husbands and wives are second only to God it stands to reason that the result of the marriage relationship (children) should be the next priority. Parents are to raise godly children who will grow to also love the Lord with all their hearts. Proverbs 22:6 states, "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." Is it easy to focus solely on those little people in your house? Absolutely! I can attest to that for sure. With three five and under someone is always needing something. However, I can also attest to the fact that my children thrive when I am prioritizing well. It creates more peace in our home. Things just go better.

So there you have it. First God, then spouse, and then children. All other relationships fall in behind those top three. Notice self isn't in there. Oh no, self comes very last. That is a whole other post for another time. The last eight years have been amazing. Sure there have been some harder patches and some moments when we struggled. I can honestly say for certain that in every rough patch the priorities of our relationships were out of order in some way or another. It is a constant struggle and something we work at every day. The world would have us put a million things before Him. Let's remember, the world doesn't love us like He does either.