NO MATTER WHAT

Things have been insane lately. Remember this post about starting our New Year over on February 1? Yeah well things have been even crazier since that post. Baylor had RSV, we had two (yep, two) floods at our rental property, a fire in my office building, Justin is sick again, and that is just the major stuff. Additionally work has been really wild for more reasons than I care to blog about, basically increasing my work-load by double. I am now carrying a full caseload in addition to my management responsiblities.

It also seems every week has brought with it a MAJOR to-do. What are MAJOR to-dos you ask. Well, those are things like preschool registration for 2011-2012, Grayson transitioning to five-day preschool, booking and paying for a big vacation/friend's wedding in May, the purchase of a mini-van out of requirement because my old car was a lease that was ending, and having a suspicious mole removed (that turned out to be fine. PRAISE). Before I go any further. . . Yes, we know leasing is not a smart financial decision. That was not our decision. That lease was part of an employment package. It wasn't our lease.

Things have just been crazy. Some people have said things to me like, "oh this is normal when you have two small children" or "you better get used to it". No, I don't think this is "normal" just because we have two small children. Things like flood, fire, and big financial stresses are not "normal". I feel like we are in the midst of a hail storm on most days. I feel like I spend most days trying to keep from drowning in the insanity, nevermind the laundry which literally went a good two weeks with no attention. I am not even kidding. We got to a point that it had to be done because there was nothing clean to wear. Don't even get me started on the house cleaning and we are potty training again. Yep, Grayson completely regressed and REFUSED to go potty after being almost completely trained. We went back to diapers because I refused to get into a battle of wills with him. We are back at it now and he is in his underwear today following a long explanation that his baby diaper are all gone and he is not allowed to wear them. He can potty successfully. He has proved that.

So, I was getting all frustrated with life in general and really questioning why, when I was desiring so much to grow in a deeper relationship with God, did it seem like He was making it impossible. When things are as insane as they have been there is little time for quiet time with God. Then it hit me. Things have been crazy since around December. In December I had a real heart to heart with God about my desires to have a deeper relationship with Him and to really start spending more time in personal devotion and devotion as a family. Cue the insanity.

I was driving in the car Thursday just praying that God would speak to me and give me some peace about the storm I feel surrounds me. After I finished praying I turned on the radio and God spoke to me right through the song that came on. I wanted to share it with the few of you that have stuck around despite my absence.

I know the closer I grow to God, the more the enemy will try to distract me from that relationship. No matter what I am going through and what the enemy uses to trip me up, God is still there working to make beautiful this mess of our lives.

Enjoy!

UPDATE ON SPAWNWATCH

Hi friends! Thanks to all of you who have been praying for my dear friends over at Spawnwatch. They got really great news today. Hop on over to their blog and check it out! Thanks again for the prayers. God is so good!

JOIN ME

Please join me in prayer today for "N" and "M" my friends who are hoping for a successful pregnancy today after their third IVF procedure (2nd FET). You can follow their story here.

GRAYSON

It has been a long time since I did a blog full of updates on my oldest son. Over the weekend he hit the 2 years, 9 months old mark. I can't believe we are 3 short months away from having a 3 year old in our house. Today he is sick. He has a bad cough and a fever. He has been sick since Friday. So today he is laid up on the couch watching movies quietly. That is a far cry from his typical level of activity. Yes, this guy keeps our lives entertaining.

He probably weighs no more than 26 pounds and is as skinny as a minute (a nice southern term to make my non-southern readers giggle). He is getting rather tall and seems to have gone through some sort of growth spurt in the last few months. It is becoming VERY difficult to find pants that stay up on his skinny waist without looking like he is on the way to a flood. Yes, we have tried several varieties of adjustable waist pants and in most instances they sit on his waist but look strangely baggy. It is also getting harder to find shirts that have long enough sleeves but fit around the next and shoulders. I try and try to get calories in him. He eats pretty well for a 2 year old and loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which I LOAD with peanut butter. Even with adding extra calories where I can and still feel like I am training a healthy eater, he stays skinny. I know I was that way as a child so I don't really worry about it.

Grayson has the sweetest personality. He is very tender-hearted and kind. He loves to learn about new things and is constantly asking "why". He loves to help me in the kitchen and regularly askes to get "up counter" to help when I am preparing dinner or baking. He got his own vacuum cleaner for Christmas because he loves to help me clean. He is a great big brother and often entertains Baylor while I am getting things done around the house. No one can make Baylor laugh as hard as Grayson.

He is currently going to preschool 3 half days per week. Beginning in February he will be attending 5 half days per week. We have been on the waiting list for 5 days for a while so I am happy the spot has opened up. I think the consistency of being there every day will be good for him. He has started going to chapel at school and has transitioned to the preschool wing for Sunday school. In both places he is learning lots of bible stories and is starting to ask a lot of questions about God and Jesus. I pray daily that I am being the teacher I need to be for him on these subjects. I know the questions are only going to get harder to answer.

He says really funny things all the time and on most occasions he doesn't even mean to be funny. Just last night, after watching a Pater Pan movie, he commented on the fact that the people could fly. Justin asked him if he could fly. His reply, "I can't fly! I don't have wings. I just have some hands." He followed that with, "Dem are for waving." While he has been sick he keeps referencing his sickness as the "cough in his mouth". He will say things like, "I don't want to give brother this cough in my mouth so I will sit over here" or "I don't feel good. I keep having this cough in my mouth." His sweet, sweet words keep us laughing. He continues to be one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.

STARTING MY NEW YEAR OVER

Things have been crazy. Since Christmas things haven't slowed down. I love the holidays. It is my favorite time of year, but by the end I typically welcome the New Year along with the slow down it typically brings. This year has been different.

Between snow, ice, sickness, work craziness, and a million other things I feel like we are still in the middle of the holiday whirlwind. I had few resolutions for the new year and I haven't even been able to get those going. The biggest problem is that I look back over the last few weeks and I couldn't tell you what I have been doing. It has been a total blur.

I think the biggest issues have been sickness and snow/ice days. I am a one who thrives with a routine and a schedule. We haven't had a typical week since Christmas. The week after Christmas it snowed and Justin and I went to Orlando for State's bowl game. By the way, that was a totally awesome trip and was made even better by visiting with our friends Kacey and Chris. I just love that girl! Then it was the New Year and we had some family Christmas celebrating left to do. The week after that the boys went back to preschool in the middle of the week. Since they didn't go on Monday and my office was closed that Monday, that week was off. The week after we had an ice storm. This past week the preschool was closed for the Martin Luther King holiday, Justin had to travel to Georgia, and THEN all three fellas in my house got sick in the middle of preparing for my office Christmas party that was last night. Yes, Christmas party. It was rescheduled after the prediction of snow in December resulted in cancellation. Next week? Yeah, the preschool is closed tomorrow for a teacher workday so again it will not be a typical week.

What is the point in all this rambling you ask? Well, I am declaring that February 1 will be my New Year Re-Do. I will start my resolutions then and hopefully the new month and a chance at a New Year repeat will bring the normalcy I was hoping for in January. No, we will not celebrate on January 31st at midnight the way we did on December 31st. That would just be crazy. I am just hoping the idea of it will get us back on track and bring back the routine that makes me feel happy and content.

BAYLOR AT 6 MONTHS

Our little Baylor Boo is six months old! Where is the time going? No, seriously stop time right now. He is on warp speed traveling too fast from newborn to toddler before my eyes. I know I have plenty of baby time left before he is really a toddler but if the next year goes by as quickly as the last 6 months, then it will be too fast for me.

From month five to six Baylor did a lot of changing and developing. He is now sitting up really well. He starting sitting assisted shortly after he hit 5 months and at this point he is sitting really well. During tummy time he is starting to try to push up to his knees. We will see where that goes. He loves to chew on books and teething rings and still loves it most when his big brother pays attention to him. He looks for Grayson as soon as he wakes and give Grayson bigger grins and deeper giggles that anyone else gets. Baylor loves his bath and likes to splash around and sink down in the water like Grayson did when he was little. He is getting a little big for his baby tub, but we will wait to move him to the big tub until he is sitting a little better. Around 5 months Baylor moved from his infant carrier to a regular rear facing car seat. I forgot to post it at his 5-month update so I will include it here. We basically did that because we had to get a new car seat after our fender-bender and the rear facing made better financial sense than the carrier.

At Baylor's 6-month appointment he was 16 pounds, 6.1 ounces which puts him in the 30th percentile for weight. The doctor voiced a bit of concern about the lack of substantial weight gain since he was last weighed in her office. We will go back in 4 weeks for a weight check. She is the same pediatrician that followed Grayson's minimal weight gain during the first 18 months so I think she half-expected Baylor to begin trimming down at some point. He measured 27 inches in length which puts him in the 75th percentile for length. He is tall and skinny. Although I don't really think he looks skinny. He has some cutie patootie rolls on this thighs that are ADORABLE!

His gums were swollen at the appointment and she confirmed that he is teething although it seems like he has been teething for well over a month and we haven't seen a tooth yet. He hates orajel so we have been doing Tylenol when he gets particularly drooly, fussy, and begins tugging at his ear. We have had a few nights where he wakes up screaming and can't fall back asleep. It is a different cry than when he wakes and just needs to self soothe. He screams. We will try to 30 minutes or so to hold and soothe him, but if we are unable to calm him down it becomes pretty clear that he is hurting so we give Tylenol. Typically about 30 minutes after the dose he calms and falls asleep. Not the case on Christmas Eve. Baylor work shortly after Santa visited and stayed awake the rest of the night in what appeared to be teething pain. Well, I guess he did sleep in my arms for about an hour, but that meant I was sitting up and not sleeping. That made for a very foggy Christmas day.

Baylor received 5 vaccines at his appointment. Four shots and an oral vaccine. He wasn't too bothered by the pain, but did have a pretty rough reaction in the days following. He was generally fussy and ran a fever for about 36 hours. Good times!

When not hurting, he is sleeping well and is generally a very happy guy. We have started to see a little more development of his personality and I believe he may be a little more strong-willed than his brother. He loves to chew on any and everything and occasionally gets his hands on something that isn't made for his baby mouth (paper, the remote, Grayson's cars) and it has to be taken from him. He gets very upset. The bottom lip sticks out and he just cries and cries. It is almost funny to see that he already responds when he doesn't get his way. He has to learn that he can't have everything that he thinks his heart desires. Bless that sweet little heart!

MOTHER'S PERSPECTIVE

Justin and I recently volunteered for Christmas Unwrapped at our church. They call it an interactive Christmas experience. The best way I can describe it is to say it is like a Christmas carnival. We volunteered specifically for the Live Nativity. I felt like Baylor, although certainly much bigger than a new born, would make a good baby Jesus. I never imagined the opportunity to serve would be such a touching and spiritually moving experience.

The setting was just as you would picture the nativity complete with animals,sheperds, and wise men. Justin and I portrayed Mary and Joseph. At first it was interesting to take it all in and look around at the animals and all the people. Everyone, obviously, was excited and interested in the "real baby Jesus". After a while it got dark, colder, and it was harder to see all the people because we had bright lights shining on us.

I began to think about the scene and the very real people we were portraying. I couldn't help but look at my sweet boy while we sat in that stable and imagine how Mary must have felt every time she looked at her son, Jesus. Mary knew God's plan for her son. It began to weigh heavy on my heart what that job must have been like for her. She was unmarried when she learned she would give birth to the savior of man. She carried him, raised him, and loved him as only a mother can knowing that it would be her son, the son of God, that would be sacrificed for our sin. It was a humbling experience, to say the very least, to sit in a stable and imagine myself as Mary. I know if asked to do what she did today I would really struggle with the call. Yes, I would respond in obedience, but the challenge would be difficult for certain. Mary sets a great example for women of what it means to follow the call of our Father.

God, through Mary, sent his son into the world. That son was sacrificed on a cross to pay the debt for the sins of mankind for all eternity. He was born and died so that we can eternal life in Heaven.

What an amazing woman! What an amazing baby! What an amazing Savior?! What an amazing God! Merry Christmas!