BATTLE VEGETABLE

At lunch today we had an all out war, Grayson style. Up until this point Grayson has been a very easy eater. There hasn't really been anything that he has refused to eat and nothing that he has seemed to hate. Like most people, he has his preferences. He loves pasta, bread, fruit, and cheese. Since around 11 months Grayson has been eating whatever we have for dinner. We sit down as a family and he eats what we are eating.

I guess I should back up and explain why Grayson eating what we eat and what we give him is important to us. We believe that God gives parents a very special job to train our children up according to His way. Most important to us is that Grayson learn the love of God and the saving Grace that comes from Jesus. There are also several other lessons that we feel come with training Grayson up to be a follower of God. I am sure by now you are thinking, what in the world does this have to do with eating. Well we feel that every moment of the day is a teaching moment. Meal times are no exception. Meal times present me with the opportunity to teach some lessons we feel God has called us to teach Grayson.

1. To be thankful for what God has blessed us with.
2. To not be wasteful of the resources that God has given us.
3. To obey his parents (manners, following directions, etc.)
4. To learn to take care of the bodies God has blessed us with through healthy eating habits.
5. To understand that you don't always get what you want right when you want it. Sometime you have to wait or sometimes answer is just no and you have to accept it and trust that your parents have made that decision in your best interest. Just as God does not always give us what we want when we want it.

In addition it is important to us that Grayson understand that he will eat what is prepared at meal time. Mommy is not a short order cook and although some nights we eat foods Grayson loves (pizza) sometimes he must find contentment in eating something that is not his favorite. I know, I know that is heavy stuff for an 18 month old. Well, we also believe that the training of a child starts at day one.

It is also important that we sit down as a family and have a meal together. That is an important time to come together as a family to talk about our days and share. We want to start this now so that Grayson grows up knowing that dinner time is family time. That little tid-bit doesn't really apply to today's adventure.

On to today's new battle. A while back we noticed that if we give Grayson a full plate of all that is for dinner, he will eat what he likes and push the rest aside. For example, if we are having chicken, rice, and peas. Grayson will eat the rice and maybe a little chicken. He will either put the peas in his bib or just push them aside. Grayson likes peas. He likes all vegetables. If that is all that is offered he eats them happily. So, for a while we have been giving Grayson his vegetables first just before we sit down and then after he eats most of those he gets the rest of his servings of the things he likes.

Well today Grayson figured out my trick. At lunch he was to be served peas, corn, cheese stick, and turkey on wheat. My plan was to give him the peas and corn first then give the turkey sandwich, and lastly give the cheese. The cheese is his favorite. So, I fix his peas and corn (which he typically loves). First he dumps them out of the bowl (umm, NOT allowed). We work together to put them back in the bowl as I explain that our food belongs in the bowl and not on our table. Then Grayson begins pointing to the fridge and says "chee" (Cheese). I say, "first you must eat your vegetables and then you can have cheese". HE REFUSED!!!! Never has this happened. He sat there whining and pointing for about 15 minutes. Finally, I say okay I will get the cheese, but you must eat some peas and corn first. I get the cheese out and set it on the counter as motivation. I then say, "First eat vegetables, then eat cheese." He pushes the bowl of vegetables away, says no, and reaches for the cheese. That lets me know he totally gets what I am expecting of him and he is refusing to comply. So there we sat. I ate my lunch and he became more and more upset as each moment passed. Eventually he is screaming. I try to feed him a bite of peas and he turns away. I get the cheese, and say take a bite of peas and you can have some cheese. He pushes the spoon away. So, the cheese went back on the counter. He screamed for 15 more minutes and never ate a bite. He stopped screaming and just sat there looking at me. Finally he said done and took his bib off.

So, lunch was over. I am sure some of my reader friends are thinking, "What?!?!?!? You didn't let him eat any lunch". My response is, Grayson chose to not eat lunch. He was served things he liked and he refused to eat them. Don't get me wrong, I will never force my child to eat something he hates. If it makes him gag to try to eat it then he will not have to eat it, but he typically loves peas and today he chose not to eat his lunch. He will not starve. Snack is served 4 hours after lunch and I will probably offer snack early today since he didn't eat lunch, but guess what. . .for snack he will again be offered vegetables.

My son will not go an entire day without eating his vegetables. That is not an option in this house. They are important for providing the vitamins and minerals he needs to be healthy. I bet at snack time he will be hungry enough to eat them and then he will get to enjoy a cheese stick. Then again, maybe we will go for Round 2. We shall see.

I do know that God will give me the strength, guidance, and patience to handle this the way that I need to and on the other side of this Grayson will have learned another important lesson.

BOO

Halloween has come and gone. It was a blast. We had lots of friends and family over for the big night. Grayson was a dinosaur. I will try my best to get a picture up here soon. I know I am terrible about that. He was adorable and loved his costume.

We practiced on Friday evening and Saturday morning trying to get him to say Trick or Treat. He could say it, but never did the entire time we were trick or treating. We had some of Grayson's friends over. Peyton was a horse, Rin was a love bug, and Lexie was Pooh Bear. They were all adorable.

After everyone arrived we loaded the kids up in the wagon and headed out to pay a visit to the neighborhood. All of the costumes described above were full furry suits purchased in early October by well intentioned parents who were determined to keep their kiddies warm while out on a late October evening. I don't remember a Halloween that has been remotely warm. Well low and behold this year it was like mid-July out. Here we are pulling these kids around the hilly neighborhood in a monster wagon. As if that wasn't enough work, at each stop we would get the kids out, help them up the sidewalk, carry them up the steps, and then put them down so they can get their treats, pick them back up, and go back to the wagon. All of us were sweating like freaks! It was crazy hot! I think we made it to like 10 houses before we were all too hot and exhausted to keep going.

The kids seemed to have a blast and that made it all worth while. After the first house Grayson totally got the concept that when he went to the door and Mommy said, "trick or treat" (because even after all that practice he acted like he didn't have a clue what to say) he got candy. He loved it!

After trick or treating we came back to our house for a hot dog and mac and cheese dinner. We had lots of friends over from our small group and then my mom, troy, ret, my dad, Brooke, Bradley, and Peyton came. I selected our menu based on what my mom served my sister and I every Halloween of our childhood and our friends brought other sides. The hot dog tradition continues!

Unfortunately Sue wasn't able to come. She was actually in Raleigh at Wake Med. Sue had back surgery last Thursday. The surgery went well and she is home now, but was in no shape to join us on Halloween. Instead we took Grayson up to see her on Sunday in his costume. We are praying for a speedy easy recovery for Granny Sue.

So Halloween has passed. I am already thinking about what we can dress Grayson up as next year. HMMMMMMM.

18 MONTHS

Grayson celebrated his 18-month birthday last week. I just can't believe he is now closer to being two than one. That is crazy!

The only real big thing with turning 18-months is the check-up. Grayson is finally in the 5th percentile for weight. He actually weighed 21 lbs, 11 ounces. He got three shots and did pretty well. The doctor was very impressed with all of his new words and said he was doing very well developmentally.

Grayson has lots of new words these days. Too many for me to keep up with. He knows all of his body parts, clothing items, etc. At school he is learning sign language (which we used at home before he could speak) and he is pairing the signs he has learned with the words often. He has also started to work on colors and is learning "orange" this month.

Grayson's favorite activities continue to be reading books and playing with balls. Recently we watched our first movie as a family. I thought it was probably a little early for Grayson but we were all home sick and it seemed like the perfect time for some cuddling and a movie on the couch. We watched Horton Hears a Who and Grayson actually watched a little over half of it. Later that same week Justin bought Stuart Little. Grayson LOVES it. We have watched it almost every day since. There is only one part that he doesn't like. The family cat jumps up and tries to eat Stuart before he knows that Stuart is a family member. EVERY time that part comes up Grayson cries. It is almost funny to see him respond in such a tender hearted way. I try to prepare him each time, "Uh-oh, here comes that mean old cat and he is going to try to get Stuart". No matter how much we talk about it beforehand, he jumps like it surprises him and cries.

Grayson was finally able to meet his new cousin, Jackson, this past weekend while we were in Greensboro for Uncle Jay's 40th birthday. Grayson really didn't seem too interested in Jackson other than being annoyed anytime Jackson had Nana's attention. Grayson will have to get used to sharing his Nana because he is likely to have lots of cousins on that side of the family.

Unfortunately Grayson has been out of school for the last two days. He had a fever on Monday. No flu, just some sort of virus. He has no other symptoms other than the fever. Hopefully he will be back to normal by tomorrow. Missing school means he is missing some of the halloween fun this week. He doesn't realize he is missing anything, but it breaks my heart to know that he is.

We are really looking forward to Halloween. Grayson is going to be a dinosaur and he is having friends over to go trick-or-treating. I think it will be a blast.

TRUE FRIENDS

Many people say that true friends are few and far between or most people can count their true friends on one hand. It always makes me wonder what others consider a "true friend". For me a true friend is someone you can count on to be there when things aren't great in your world. True friends don't need to ask if something is wrong, they just know. Those friends know when you are upset about something and if they should distract you, make you laugh, or cry with you. True friend celebrate your successes because they really are so happy to see you achieve. True friends can get together with no plans at all and have the best time ever. True friends love you just the way you are. Most importantly at this point in my life, true friends remember the lost daughters I can't go a moment without thinking about.

Every now and then God speaks to the heart of someone and through that person or people reminds us just how blessed we are. Last week I got one of those reminders.

I know four of the most amazing women in the world. These ladies are beautiful, successful, genuine, strong, reliable, loving, faithful, generous, and too many other amazing characteristics for me to list. During college and graduate school these ladies walked into my life and haven't walked away once since. My Boone Girls, Beth, Kelly, Meka, and Sarah, are true friends to me. We have laughed, cried, celebrated, comforted, and supported each other for many years now.

My daughters would be 5 months old now if they have survived delivery and 8 weeks old if they had made it full term. There are days that I feel like I am the only person in the world that thinks about them. I know in my heart that is not at all true. Many people loved them, but it is easy to get to feeling that way on a tough day. I came home last week after a particularly rough week. I was down about things in general. You know, feeling really sorry for myself.

I came home to a package on the counter. My first thought was that my mom used a REALLY big box to ship my contacts to me. Then I looked at the handwriting and the return address. I was from Kel! I opened the box to find the most uplifting card from my Boone girls. They wrote that they were thinking of me and that they would always remember Faith and Avery. Then came the tears. Inside the box was a Chamilia bracelet. On it were two charms, a little boy and twin girls. Charms to represent my children! It is honestly one of the most amazing and touching gifts I have ever received.

I can't express to these girls how much they mean to me. It is beyond a great blessing to have them in my life. I am blessed to be able to call those beautiful women my friends. I have other true friends too. So many people who have supported me during the last few months. SO, I can't count my true friends on one hand nor are my true friends few and far between. God knew I needed some extra blessing in that department of my life. Last week He reminded me that I am not only blessed with amazing friends, but I am not alone in missing and remembering Faith and Avery. What a Gift!!!!

NOODLE SOUP

As I write this update Grayson is in his highchair chowing down on some homemade Chicken and Vegetable Noodle Soup. This is only interesting because I made Chicken Noodle Soup for him last winter and he hated it. He wouldn't touch it! Tonight he is on his 4th helping. Thanks to my friend Cindy for the suggested addition of Cumin to my recipe. I decided to give it a whirl again because Justin is sick and Grayson and I both still have a bit of a cold. Not only that, but it is FREEZING outside today. I think the high today and tomorrow is like 49 or something and it is raining. PERFECT weather for soup.

Things have been really busy around our household. As you all know, Grayson went back to daycare and preschool pretty much full time following our vacation. The original plan was to keep him out one day every week or every other week for a day with Mommy. First because he was so accustomed to being with me every day all summer and secondly because I miss him like crazy. Well as it turns out we have been SUPER busy at work, which is a great thing for the company, but I haven't been able to spend much time with Grayson. I even typically take him to my office after I pick him up from his half-day at preschool so he can nap there and I can get more done. Don't get me wrong, he loves being at the office. All of the people there love him and spoil him like crazy. Today it was time for a break.

Today I kept Grayson out of daycare and we spent the day together. It was wonderful. He went with me to the office for a bit and then we went to play over with his friends Lexie and Jack. He was so excited when he realized that he was not going to daycare. When he saw that we were pulling into my office he gasped and then reached for me in the front seat saying "Oh MaMaaaaa". He had a blast at the office with Brenda and Gen. They just spoil him rotten and give him all sorts of love and attention. Then when we got to Cindy's house he had the opportunity to play with all sorts of toys that are different than what he has at home. Once he got comfortable in the new environment he has a blast and I had fun spending time with Cindy and her kiddos.

Grayson has been becoming more and more social. At daycare I am told that he is the last to go to sleep at nap and the first to wake up. Apparently he likes to try to talk to the kids in the cribs near him and the teacher has to stay by his crib to keep him from keeping the other kids awake. I wonder where he gets the "don't want to miss the party" attitude? She and the preschool teacher both say that he talks all day long. You can't understand most of what he says. I think it is adorable. Just the other day I got to the daycare and he was on the playground. I decided to watch him play from inside just to see what he is like on the playground without mommy around. All of the children were inside a little playhouse. Grayson was outside at the window. The window has two shutters that close over it. Grayson was closing the window and looking through the crack at the kids inside. After a few minutes of peeking in he would fling open the shutters and yell at the kids inside. They would all giggle and then he would close them back. He played this game for like five minutes. It was adorable. It's just another way that he is growing up so fast.

Grayson is finally starting to talk on the phone. Just tonight, after finishing his soup, he was talking on the phone to his uncle Jay. Prior to this last week or so he would just freeze when anyone tried to talk to him on the phone. He would take the phone as if he were interested in talking and then he would just sit there without saying a word. Not any more!!! He just gabs and gabs. You can't understand a word, but he is happy to be sharing his story with the person on the other end.

As far as fostering goes, we had our second class last night. We now have the paperwork to get our fingerprinting done, but even after that there are tons of things left to be done. Thank you all for the prayers and support. Also a special thanks to all of those people who have offered to keep Grayson on Tuesdays for us. It really helps to have people volunteering so we don't have to stress over it. A special, special thanks to Brian and Jodie who kept him for the first two classes. We are blessed to have such an amazing support system in our friends here since both sides of our family live at least an hour away.

ONE DOWN, EIGHT TO GO

That's right! We began our nine week journey through MAPP this week. MAPP is the name for the fostering classes that we are required to take in order to become licensed foster parents. For some reason actually going to the classes makes me feel like we are officially starting this journey. I guess we are really just starting this leg of the journey with many more to go.

Originally I was told that we would be licensed immediately after we completed our classes and I was led to believe that most people don't make themselves available to foster newborns so we could expect a placement pretty quickly. This is because you either have to be a stay at home mom or agree to take a 6-week leave of absence from work when the baby is placed. Apparently I was misinformed. I am sure this will not be the first time during this process that one county employee tells us something that contradicts what we have previously been told by another. The leader for our MAPP class spoke during the session about the process and described a "possible" 8 week wait following the completion of the class before we will actually be licensed. She also explained that "everyone" wants babies so the wait is longer for those placements. After hearing that it sounds a little less like we will have a placement by Christmas. I am okay with that. We will get our placement in God's perfect timing. I have learned from this not to get my hopes up about anything in this process.

We did learn some other interesting facts that will make this experience a little more of a challenge than we originally expected. I will not elaborate until or if it actually becomes an issue. No need to dwell on it. God doesn't promise us that His will is easy, just that we can do all things through Him.

We do have homework for our next class. We EACH have to write about a 6-page autobiography and fill out a lot of other paperwork. This autobiography will include our entire life's story from birth until now. I love to write so I am not minding it at all. Justin, well. . .pray for him. He does not find joy in activities like this.

As far as little man goes, he is still doing wonderfully. We did finally take him to the doctor and his is now getting two doses per day of a yummy pink antibiotic to get rid of his sinus congestion. All of his teachers at daycare and preschool seem to love him. They go on and on about how much he talks and how cute it is. It is so cute because he doesn't say a whole lot of real words. Mostly jibberish (jargon-for my ST friends). It is so cute that occasionally I catch myself hoping that he doesn't figure out all of the real words. That probably wouldn't work out so well for him in college.

WEST COAST VISITOR

There really hasn't been much going on around here lately. We have all been sick for the past couple of weeks. Grayson still has a pretty bad cough that is keeping him up at night. In fact, we didn't make it to church today because he was up for much of last night. I am pretty sure I will be putting a call in to Dr. Murnane tomorrow.

Being sick hasn't slowed Grayson down much. He is as busy as ever and is ALL boy. He now enjoys jumping on everything. Oh yeah, EVERYTHING. He jumps on the couch, the bed, his toys, me. It doesn't really matter if what is below him is bouncy, he jumps anyway and laughs the whole time.

We recently decided it was time to get Grayson some more age-appropriate toys and started looking for Christmas items. We went ahead and got a couple of things. Even with the new toys, his favorites still seem to be balls and books. He loves to be read to. He has three favorite books, I Love you Through and Through, The NCSU Book, and Hello Bee. These are really the only books he will sit and listen to. The others he just likes to look at the pictures.

Grayson had a very special visitor today. My cousin, Angela, was in town visiting from California. She doesn't make it out here often and didn't get to see Grayson on her last visit. This was Grayson's first time meeting her. Angela and I went to lunch while Grayson was at home with daddy for his nap. Then we came back to the house and Grayson had a great time with her. Obviously I was thrilled to see her, but Grayson really enjoyed showing her around his room and introducing her to all of his toys and books. He is such a little people person. He even walked all the way to the end of the drive way to tell her good-bye. He kept blowing kisses and waving. What a sweetie!!!