GREEN MEANS GO

Today that is what I got from my doctor. I got the big green light to pretty much resume normal activity. He called it modified bed rest from this point on, but what he described is participating in most normal activities with some rest scattered throughout the day as I feel like I need it.

WOOOOO-WHOOOOOOO! That was such awesome news. I was expecting to be able to return to normal by Saturday, but he allowed it as of today. I have a whole huge list of things to do and I am ready to starting working on all the things I have had to let go for the last month. Yes mom, I promise to not push myself too much and be careful.

Baby Firecracker now appears to be staying put for quite some time to come. My cervix measured 3.1 today with no peak at all. That is very good for those out there who have no idea what I just described. No indication of labor coming soon and the doctor even mentioned that statistically I could easily go full term. The idea of not meeting this little guy for another month or more isn't my favorite, but I will push my impatience aside and focus on the fact that healthy and full term is a gift to be treasured.

He is still breech (feet down) despite the fact that I was certain he has been kicking me in the ribs. Apparently this fella has really sharp shoulder blades or strong arms. I go back to the doctor in 2 weeks. If Firecracker hasn't turned then they will schedule me for an external cephalic version in the days following that appointment. That basically means I will be admitted to the hospital and the doctor will attempt to turn the baby by rubbing and pushing in a very uncomfortable way on my belly. This technique has about a 60% (depending what article you read) success rate and little risk. There is a possibility that is will place too much stress on the baby, which is why it is done at the hospital with fetal monitoring. If at any point the heart rate were to begin to drop, I would be rushed to the OR for an emergency c-section. That is worst case scenario and does not happen often (according to Dr. B). I have also read that it can induce labor.

That is still two weeks away and I am just going to pray and believe that this little guy will turn on his own very soon. After all, this is my third pregnancy and on the last go there were two in there. There should be PLENTY of room for him to turn. For now we will get down to the business of returning to normal around our house. I vacuumed the downstairs this afternoon and have never been so happy to vacuum.

A TICKLE IN THE NOSE

Oh the absolute funniest thing happened last night. I laughed so hard I cried! It was just too funny not to share. We had my dad and Sue here for dinner. Actually they brought Grayson home after he spent the weekend at their house. I wanted to have dinner for them because in addition to picking up Grayson here on Friday and bringing him all the way back Sunday, my dad came up Friday and kept the Grayson, Rin, and Abe. He pulled major Grandpa duty on Friday and then he and Sue had Grayson and Peyton on Saturday. Now, I know they love every minute of it, but it was still a huge help for us.

Since Justin was cooking the dinner with me on bed rest we had steaks (my husband grills the BEST rib eye), salad, baked potatoes, and baked beans. Grayson loves baked beans. Every time we have them he eats three or four servings. He loves them!

About half way through dinner Grayson begins to whine. Whenever Grayson wants something or needs to tell us something and he doesn't know the words he will point and say "this". Grayson is whining, pointing to his nose, and saying "this" and then starts digging his finger way up in his nose. We are trying desperately to curb nose picking by teaching Grayson to ask for a tissue. Justin asks, "do you need a tissue?" and Grayson says, "yes". Easy enough! Justin gets a tissue and helps Grayson wipe his nose. Grayson doesn't seem satisfied so Justin looks in his nose. Justin explains that he doesn't see any boogies and that Grayson's nose is all clean. Tissue goes into the garbage and Grayson continues to whine. Let me just say that nothing drives me more crazy than the whiny "this". It is so hard to figure out what he needs and the longer this goes on the more whiny his voice gets.

Grayson is still messing with his nose, but now he is pointing to the counter where the food is setting. Then begins the guessing game. Justin says, "Do you want bread, potato, butter, sour cream?" To all of which Grayson replies, "Noooooo, dissss!" I say, "I think he is pointing to the beans. Grayson, do you want more beans?" "Noooooo, DISSSSSS". He is getting really frustrated at this point and is back to pointing to his nose.

At this point he whines are beginning to turn to cries and he has his finger back in his nose. I ask, "Is your nose running?" He says, "No." I ask, "Does your nose itch?" He says, "No". I ask, "Does your nose have a tickle?" Grayson thinks about it for a minute (picture the best contemplating face a two-year old can make) and then he says, "yeaaaah". He seemed kind of unsure, but satisfied that "tickle" was the best word to fit his current issue. I explain that if his nose is feeling tickled, then there is probably a boogie in it and he needs to use a tissue to blow his nose and get the tickle out. He agrees and Sue gets a tissue for him. I explain that he should blow really hard to get his tickle out. Grayson gives one hard blow and I encourage him to blow again. On the second blow you can hear what sounds like a very, ummmmmmmm, productive blow (if you know what I mean). Sue pulls the tissue away and it is sets a big baked bean. My child shoved a baked bean up his nose. Not just in there, but WAY up in his nose. I mean, you should have seen how far he kept sticking his finger in there and you know the bean was beyond his finger.

I thought I was going to fall out of my chair. I laughed so hard I literally cried. After dinner I decided that this was by far the funniest thing that Grayson has done yet. We did the responsible parenting thing and explained that you can't put things up in your nose. Grayson seemed to get the idea. Who knew baked beans tickled?

FINISHED MOVING

Some of you are new followers and some of you are new followers. I used to journal about our family at a website called "aboutmybaby". I received notification about 6 months ago that the website was going out of business. All information stored there will be deleted as of June 1. That is when I made the move back to Blogger. I posted in both places for a while, but now we are officially done with aboutmybaby.

It took forever, but all of my posts have now been moved from the old site to my Blogger account. I am pretty certain that I am the only person who enjoys going back to read my old posts, but now they are here for me or anyone else to read. I did not begin posting until Grayson was 4 months old, so that is where it starts. I should probably post his birth story sometime before it gets to fuzzy to document accurately. All of his first year stuff is between August 2008 and April 2009. Our journey with Faith and Avery began in January of 2009, but I did not announce that pregnancy until a posting in March of that year. They were born in May 2009. We began our journey to become a foster family in September of 2009. Baby Firecracker came into our family in October of 2009. For anyone who is curious about going back to read old stuff, those dates should give you a frame of reference.

I guess this is my version of nesting while on bed rest. Only one more week and I can get up and about to do the real nesting!

THAT'S ONE FUNNY KID

Finally the sun came back out today, which has put me in a much better mood. I had a pretty productive day. Yesterday was equally great because I had a great friend here whom I have known for a very long time. This friend and I have known one another since middle school and although we don't see each other regularly it is nice to know that with those kinds of friends you can just pick up where you left off no matter how long it has been. She came up for the day leaving her own family to drive over an hour and keep Grayson, keep me company, and even made us a wonderful dinner. Those are those types of friends that your parents always tell you that you will probably only be able to count on one hand. Our current situation continues to prove just how blessed we are in the friend department.

Grayson has been having a blast lately and seems to have adjusted to all of his new routines. I really think he gets more and more hilarious with every passing day. These days when you ask Grayson about what he wants or needs to do you can say something like, "Do you think you should close it?" and he will say "Yeah do!" (Yeah I do) and then he happily complies. You can also say something like "Do you look handsome" and after going over to the mirror to check himself out he will reply, "Yeah do". Self esteem is no issue for this little guy. He also loves to go outside and swing high on his new swings. He asks for "more high" and then just laughs hysterically. He is quite pleased with his new swing set which he calls his "house" and will tell anyone who will listen, "my daddy built it!" or "my daddy built mine house." He is really loving Play Doh these days and asks for it pretty much every day. He even had a friend come over and help him make it homemade on one of the days that she was here to help me with him. He is now apologizing often without needing prompting to do so. If he bumps into someone he automatically says "Uh-oh sa-dee" (uh-oh sorry). Just tonight he bumped his head pretty hard on the banister while getting ready to go outside. He whined for a minute and then looked up at the railing and said "I sa-dee dat" (I'm sorry that) rubbing the railing. I guess that boo-boo was his fault.

Grayson is excited about his brother and loves showing anyone who comes by where the baby is going to live (the nursery). He has decided to call his brother "brudder" instead of by his name or baby. When you ask him the baby's name he replies "brudder". That is for "Brother", not the actual name. So for all of you people who think you are going to get the baby's name out of Grayson, too bad. His name for the baby is "Brother".

Grayson is also now sleeping in a big double bed. Gone are the days of the crib and toddler bed. The double bed was in what is going to be the nursery and it only made sense to move it to Grayson's room. Grayson likes his big bed and has no issue getting all cuddly in it with about 25 various stuffed animals, his blue bear, and his train bear. He looks so cute and cozy that it is hard to not just get in there with him and cuddle up at night to sleep.

I am doing well. I have one more week and 2 days of bed rest to go. Well, I guess that is provided things still look fine at my appointment next Wednesday. Let's not count our chickens just yet, instead we will keep praying that this baby stays put for a long as he needs to and that I don't go crazy sitting around in the mean time.

RAIN AND BED REST

I have decided that although I am very thankful for all the rain we have had today (our grass needed it badly), a rainy day is miserable for a bed rest mommy. I have had the lights on most of the day because it is that dark and cloudy outside. Having the lights on and no sunshine makes it feel like evening all day. The rain has been fairly constant and rain makes anyone sleepy especially someone who isn't supposed to get up off the couch. Motivation has been very hard to grab a hold of today. I have plenty of work related things to do and getting them done today has been a real chore.

It doesn't help that I am pretty tired today. We had a great and busy weekend. Yes, I know I am not supposed to be busy. I followed doctor's orders for the most part and lots of wonderful friends come to entertain me during my bed rest.

Friday during the day my friend Lauren was here to help me with Grayson and the Hantla kids. She brought her own 2 year old, Thomas and stayed ALL day. Four kids, two and under, are a lot to manage and she did a fantastic job. It was fun to get to spend some time with her and to watch Grayson and Thomas play together.

On Friday we had some wonderful friends bring dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie is a pretty typical Friday activity for us. It was nice to feel like we were having a normal Friday night. Not to mention that these particular friends are a lot of fun to hang out with and I spent most of the night laughing, which is always a good feeling.

On Saturday after Justin spent the day working incredibly hard to get the house cleaned and the yard taken care of, he went off to work while I had visitors. Some of my White Lake girls came to visit. Jamie, Melody, and Katie brought an awesome dinner and great conversation. Jamie also brought her cute little tot, Lucas, so that Grayson had a friend to play with. I don't get to see those girls very often, but when we get together it is like no time has passed at all. It is interesting to think about the fact that the three of us have spent some pretty crazy Saturday evenings together, but I would venture to say that this Saturday ranks up there pretty high with some of my favorite Saturday nights with these ladies.

On Sunday my mom, Aunt Ret, sister, and nephew were here. We did not celebrate Mother's Day last weekend and my mom's birthday was on Friday. We had a day of celebrating our mom and grammy. It was so much fun. We had lunch, watched a movie, played with the kiddos, and even got some things done in the nursery.

All in all I had a fabulous weekend, but pretty exhausting. Which brings me back to my original point. Rainy days are hard on those of us on bed rest. Even if I can't go out and enjoy the nice weather, it makes for a much more tolerable day than gloom. Today I just feel really sleepy and not motivated at all.

KEEP IT UP

I had my regular OB appointment today. It was my first appointment since beginning bed rest two weeks ago. Today I am 32 1/2 weeks. I was so nervous about the appointment that I didn't sleep at all last night. I even took my hospital bag with me because I was so worried we would get bad news. I have been having lots of contractions lately that have VERY much felt like real contractions and I was nervous about a shorter cervix or dilation.

When the doctor checked me today he was VERY happy with the improvements. My cervix length increased from a 2.2 to a 3.3. Additionally last week I had a peak of 1.7 which the doctor did not tell me. So technically I improved from a 1.7 to a 3.3. YAY! The bed rest is working and the contractions are just Braxton Hicks. At that point in the appointment I was hoping maybe he would say I didn't have to be on bed rest anymore. No such luck. I am assigned to bed rest for the next 2 1/2 weeks, but at least we know the bed rest is working and if I can keep it up at this rate this baby should not come early.

Things are going super well and I couldn't feel more blessed. So silly for me to be stressed out over today's appointment. God is probably just shaking his head about my doubt thinking to himself what a silly girl I am. That is what doubt and fear are, a lack of faith. No need for me to worry or stress, He is has gone before me and will prepare me to deal with the way He plans for this to unfold. It is just really hard for me to remember that when I think about the all of the things there are to fear in this situation. I am human after all.

UH-OH

So I thought we were covered fairly well for childcare. As it turns out we do not have coverage for the 3 kids this Friday. That is Grayson and the Hantla children (ages 20 months and 6 months). Many of you have offered to help and said if we have any childcare needs to let you know. Well I am letting you all know. We have someone willing to take Grayson for the day, but I would ideally like to find arrangements for someone to watch all three kids at our house. It is my responsibility to watch the Hantla children on Fridays and we have been unable to provide that to them for the last two weeks. Our friends have been very understanding, but I would really like to be able to make arrangements for them. Please e-mail me if you can help.

WE SURVIVED

Our family survived the day I had been dreading for the last year. I dreaded reliving every moment of our daughter's birth each time I looked at the clock. I dreaded all the "at this moment last year" thoughts. I dreaded trying to have a Happy Mother's Day while the children who aren't here with me were at the front of my mind. I dreaded having to go out a face anyone (thanks to bed rest that wasn't an issue). I dreaded it all!

We survived thanks to a God that provides comfort like no other and a ton of friends and family praying for us yesterday. No it wasn't an easy day, but we made the best of it. The three (almost 4) of us spent a wonderful day just being together. It was nice and my fellas worked hard to make sure I had a very special Mother's Day. Justin and I talked about our girls some, but I didn't want to be weepy in front of Grayson all day so we tried to keep those moments between the two of us.

We had lots of calls and messages from friends and family. One friend even planted sunflowers yesterday in memory of our girls. All of those gestures bring us comfort. If you called yesterday and didn't hear back from me, please know that I do appreciate the gesture. I don't like to talk on the phone about things that are upsetting. It means a lot to know that you were thinking of us and praying for us. I do appreciate the calls and the messages were very uplifting. I just have a hard time talking on the phone all day about it. Thanks for understanding.

Yesterday was certainly easier than May 9th one year ago. I suppose as each year passes it will get a little easier when May 9th rolls around on the calendar.

HEAVEN IS HAVING A FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY

First I want to share a bit from The Velveteen Rabbit that another blogger shared in relation to the loss of her twins. . .


"What is Real?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

The Rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He longed to become Real, to know what it felt like; and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him.

.....................................................................................

If the standard for being Real is someone REALLY loving you, then our twins were most definitely real. They weren't with us for a long time, but they were most definitely loved for a long time. Since before we even knew they were there. God loved them and their family loved them. Oh yes, they were most definitely real and changed our lives in a real way.

One year ago today Faith and Avery were born into our family. That same day they went on to Heaven after only spending moments with us. In a perfect world we would be planning a wonderful party for this weekend. In a perfect world we would be celebrating the first birthday of two healthy and beautiful little girls. Our world and our family is not perfect.

Instead today our little girls are having a much more grand party than we can even imagine. I am jealous. They should be here with us today, but instead they are celebrating in Heaven.

This Mother's Day our family is feeling sad. I only have two of my four children here with me. Yes, having the two here is a huge blessing for which I am very grateful. That doesn't take away the pain. It doesn't make it any easier. Real love, the kind a mother has for her children, opens you up for real pain.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my sister, Cindy, Sue, Jennifer, our Granny, our Grandma Betty, Luci, and all the other mother's in our extended family. Happy Mother's Day to all of my blogger moms and friends who read. I also want to wish a very Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers who have also given their babies back to Heaven too soon. They are often forgotten today and deserve the biggest Mother's Day hug of them all.

32 WEEKS

I have made it to 32 weeks. That was our first big goal. My understanding is that delivery beyond this point means I can deliver at Wake Med instead of Duke. Delivery at Wake Med means my doctor can be there with me to deliver Little Firecracker. That is something to celebrate.

I will choose to focus on that today, instead instead of thinking about the fact that I am missing a big day with my family. I will focus on that instead of the fact that Justin and Grayson are away without me. It also helps that my sister and Aunt Ret are here. We have been watching movies and just hanging out. It is really nice to have people here to keep me entertained. It should be a great day!

DOES HISTORY ALWAYS REPEAT ITSELF?

It was one year ago today that my bed rest turned into hospital stay. I checked into Duke Medical Center around 6 pm on May 7th, 2009. It was the beginning of the end. I have this horrible fear that today I will end up at the hospital again. I know it sounds crazy. Why would the time of the year have anything to do with anything? This is a completely different situation, right? I guess part of that fear stems from the fact that I went on bed rest this time around almost exactly one year from the date I went on bed rest last year. There are still moments every day that feel a little too much like deja vu.

I am also fearful because Justin is out of town 2 1/2 hours away and he doesn't have great cell service where he is. I have had dreams for two nights now that I went into labor and either he wasn't willing or couldn't get here in time. Yes, I have dreamed he refused to come home and miss the weekend events to be here for the birth of our child. Pregnancy dreams are crazy!

Pregnancy loss and difficulties are also at the front of my mind for a different reason. Not only am I remembering what we went through last year, but I also have friend who are in the midst of some very difficult times. I blogged several weeks ago about all of the women who have difficulty becoming pregnant and women who have difficulty carrying babies full term. Please continue to pray for those women. Two in particular, have had especially difficult weeks. Their stories aren't mine to share, but please be in prayer for physical healing and emotional strength for them both.

A LITTLE GREEN

Yesterday our crib bedding was delivered. Well, part of it. At any rate we now have something for this baby and I really feel like we can now start preparing a room for him and our future foster children. If you don't remember or didn't read it before we are putting up two cribs in preparation of our home inspections. We have to have a bed for any future foster children and since we are planning to foster babies, we have to put up an extra crib. That is why we only have part of the bedding. I had to split the purchase into two separate purchases so that it would not be so much money at once.

Grayson was waking up from nap when I saw the big box on the front porch. He is typically a little slow to wake and was a little confused looking about the fact that I was so excited about the huge box. As I opened it he started to look a little interested. That is until I pulled the blanket out and said, "Look Grayson! It is the blankets and bed stuff for the new baby!" His response? "No, not", which is what he says when he is not pleased with an idea or statement I have made. Throughout the afternoon and evening he continued to express his disgust for the big box and the contents for baby by trying to say that it was for him not baby, kicking the box whenever he walked past it, and telling daddy that the items in the box belonged to "me, mine" and crying out "nooooooo" if anyone tried to say otherwise. Hmmmmm. . .doesn't jealousy bring out the best in us.

His attitude did improve later in the evening. At our weekly small group meeting our wonderful friends had a little "Happy Baby Party" for us. We had yummy dessert and were blessed with some gifts of diapers and other necessities for the new baby. That was great because we didn't have a single little diaper in this house. No, we are not prepared for the arrival of this little one. Not even close. Anyway, Grayson helped open the gifts and seemed to get really excited over the baby's things. He didn't try to claim one thing for himself.

Seems the little green monster has left my little guy alone for the moment and jumped ship to me. My fellas left this morning for their weekend away. They will be home Saturday night and I have my wonderful aunt and sister coming to stay with me. It doesn't change the fact that I am not with my family during a very important time and that makes me just mad. I am jealous they are having fun without me, I am jealous everyone gets to see Grayson and Justin all dressed up this weekend, and I am jealous everyone is celebrating without me. Additionally, I miss them! I will sulk for a little while today, but at least I have plenty of stuff to keep me busy. Work is still busy and that should make these next two days pass quickly. Well, that and having two fabulous people hanging out with me!

AMAZED

I have stated many times that we have the most awesome friends and family. Most of our friends are like family. We love them to pieces and in the last week they have really amazed us with their love for us. Yes, our family has been wonderful. They always are, but I have to talk a little about what God is doing through our friends today.

I felt a little guilty about posting our needs last week. It seemed to me that we were asking for so much. As I read over the requests time and time again, my guilt grew. I prayed about it and I felt like God was saying to me that I needed to be humble and let Him work trough the people He had surrounded us with. Boy did God show up through our friends in a big way. He has blessed us time and time again and I am just amazed at the love our friends have for us. It's a love that I know God has planted in their hearts. There is no other way to explain why people would be so good, so giving, so selfless, so sacrificial, so kind. God does that in people. Isn't it awesome?!

Let me just share how blessed we are. I posted a meal sign up sheet online. I set it up for four days per week. Justin is home on weekends and can cook and on Wednesdays we have bible study, which often includes dinner. I have it set up to run through the end of May in hopes that by June my doctor will allow me to come off of bed rest and resume normal activity until this little guy arrives. It is full! Yes, FULL!!! There isn't a slot left. Friends from far and near are providing dinners for us. That is amazing!!! It sounds so small but is a huge blessing. Justin has a ton on his plate. He says again and again that he can do it all, but the fact that he does not have to come home every night and prepare a meal is a huge burden lifted. It also helps me feel better about my inability to be the cook to know that I set something up that took care of that for him.

We have lots of childcare needs. Grayson is typically my responsibility a lot of the week and I care for two other children on Fridays. I listed the days we needed help and over 50% of them are covered. THAT IS AMAZING!!! Again, people who have a whole ton of their own responsibilities and their own busy schedules are stepping up and blessing us in a huge way. I stand in absolute awe.

We have been offered so much help with household things that I am actually having a hard time organizing and keeping up with who is doing what and when. Not only that, but as I type this the laundry is fairly caught up and the house is pretty clean. AMAZING! Next on the list, NURSERY!!!

Also, keep the visits coming. We have been so blessed with visitors and I love it!!! Having visitors really helps the time pass and keeps me from feeling so isolated from the world.

We feel loved. We feel loved in a big way by our friends and by God through them. It is just an awesome feeling.

Additionally I need to post an update on the baby. I know I haven't posted in a few days. I have actually stayed pretty busy in my resting place with work related stuff. I am thankful for that because it helps the time to pass more quickly.

Little Firecracker is doing really well. During my first few days of bed rest I was often having contractions. Nothing consistent or close together, but they were there and often at night they would be as close as 10 minutes apart for about an hour or two. Since Sunday I have had very few contractions. Well, other than the pesky Braxton Hicks kind. I hope that is an indication that the bed rest is helping. I had also prayed that he would turn. He was breech last week and that would not be ideal if I were to go into labor. I am not certain but the kicks that were really low have disappeared and I am feeling lots of nudges up around my ribs. Either he has decided to punch me instead of kick or his feet are in my ribs now. I am hoping for the feet in my ribs which would mean he is now head down. Head down is good.

The rest of the family is doing fairing pretty well. Justin is busy and tired, but who wouldn't be with all that he has on his plate. He is SUPER HUSBAND of the year!!! We have had some issues with Grayson. He has had some trouble at bed time and he has been having potty accidents. All of this is to be expected with a 2 year old who has had his world turned a little upside down, but please be in prayer for him. I hurts my heart to know that these circumstances are having an impact on him. I want for him to feel secure, loved, and cared for. I worry that he feels anxious, shuffled around, and confused.

Thanks for the continued prayers and support. You all are AMAZING and we would not be thriving in these circumstances without you.

31 WEEKS

You will notice that being on bed rest has given me the opportunity to update our blog layout. Yeah, it took me like 3 hours because I am not tech savvy. Yes, I have other things to do. I actually have enough paperwork to keep me busy for several days, but I needed the mental break. In hind sight all the work figuring out how to change the blog wasn't really a mental break, but I was happy with the end result so that made it worth it.

The pictures are from Grayson's 2 year photography session. We used the same photographer we used last year for his 1 year pics that weren't taken exactly at one but in July. Her name is Christa and as you can see, she does an amazing job. If you live in this area and don't have a photographer for any upcoming pics that you are hoping to have taken of your kids or family you should check her out. Her website it www.mycreativeclicks.com She is located in the Apex/Holly Springs area, but will meet you at any location if you want an outdoor session instead of inside her home studio. We did the one year at the Rose Garden and the two year at the arboretum near NCSU.

So, today I am 31 weeks. That means this baby only has to make it one more week for me to be able to deliver at WakeMed with my doctor instead of at Duke. That would be awesome!!! Well, not the 32 week delivery part, but the delivery at Wake Med instead of Duke. A 32-week delivery not be awesome. We are hoping for more like a 34-36 week delivery.

I am feeling okay. I notice every little pain and cramp and there have been a lot of them. I wonder if they are normal and I notice them because I am sitting around or if they are actually contractions. When I do get up to use the restroom or go to bed I have a lot of pressure. I don't remember having that amount of pressure with Grayson until more like 36-38 weeks, but I don't know if that is significant either. If the cramps or the pressure get to where I have difficulty breathing through it, then I will call the doctor. I have always heard that is a good indicator that the pain is labor related and not normal pregnancy pains. Until then I will just pay attention to them, but assume they are normal and if I were up moving around more I wouldn't notice them.

Little Firecracker moves around a lot. He has also made some pretty large (like sci-fi style large)movements. I hope one of those were from him turning to the head down position. I pray daily for that change. I definitely don't want to go into labor with this baby breech.

We have already been blessed in a million ways since I posted on Thursday. People are signing up and bringing dinner, visiting, signing up for childcare, sending cards and gifts to keep me entertained, and offering tons of prayers. The prayers are definitely the most needed and are very appreciated. We have an amazing group of friends in Raleigh and even some in the surrounding areas that are helping us out and we also have a great supportive family. Justin is doing more than a million things to keep the house running. He is doing my jobs along with his usual, so the help we are receiving is an extra blessing to him. He says he is willing to do it on his own and I know he would do it gladly, but I also know he would be exhausted in a matter of days if not sooner.

All in all we are hanging in there and taking it one day at a time. I definitely want this little guy to stay on the inside as long as possible, but I pray for that time to pass quickly because I am not good at laying around when I am not sick. Next on my agenda is to get my paperwork done and finally do that San Diego and 2nd birthday party posting I have been promising.